Gravitation
by Yih
Summary: AU. What if Bella had been a vampire ages ago? What if Edward had met Bella as a vampire? What would happen when they finally found each other after being lonely for so long? Who would gravitate to who? Who would chase and be chased?
1. Prologue

**GRAVITATION**  
by Yih

**Disclaimer: **Owned by Stephanie Meyer, just borrowing for the purpose of this fanwork.

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**Prologue**

_London 1760_

They say, it is dangerous to walk by yourself at night. It is absolutely true. But there was a time when I was young and I was foolish, and I disregarded what my mother had always told me and I walked out of our quaint townhouse to the park a block away to get out of the house.

It was a beautiful walk, especially in the evening, when the sun was a rosy orange and the weather was not quite as warm as it was earlier in the afternoon. I liked this time between day and night the best. Sunset, what should be sad because it is the end of the day, and yet at the same time signaled that soon a new day would come.

I should have been all right that day– we lived in a good area and my father was a respectable constable – except then I did not know what I do now. There are things in the night that are unnatural and impossible to wrap the mind around and I just happened to attract one of them.

I am happy to say I did not scream, I did not cry, I did not do anything that I would be embarrassed about when the man came upon me and wrapped his arm around my waist and used his other hand to cover my mouth.

"Such a delectable morsel," he spoke in a musical voice, "walking all alone and smelling so delicious. I wonder what I should do."

I remember being terrified, maybe even trembling when he tilted my head back and licked my neck. I thought I was going to be raped and then left to my shame. Of course, how was I to know that there were far greater dangers than my mother could ever have told me?

He lifted his head and turned me around, for some reason, and looked at me. He stared at me for a very long time and I stared back at him, wondering how such a beautiful man could be so terrifying.

"Aww," he said and ran his hand through my tresses and grabbed a hold of them, again pulling my head back.

He traced his finger from my chin to my throat, delicately as if I were fragile and breakable, which I was to him. I stared at him with wide, frightened eyes, wondering what he would do to me and yet I was mesmerized as he lowered his face to my neck and I expected him to lick me, maybe even kiss me, but he did neither. Instead he bit me and drank enough to leave me weak and light-headed. I felt at first like I was floating through another realm, possibly toward death, when that sensation stopped and instead I began to burn.

It was torturous, unimaginable – the sharpness and the steadiness of the searing pain I went through for what felt like eternity, even though it was only three days, before I became what I thought was only in horror stories… a vampire.

**To be continued...**

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**A/N: **This is my first Twilight fanfic, so if you like it please review it because I do have other stories I am working on and it would be great to know if this is worthy of continuation! Also reviews are just like candy and good stuff to authors ^_^. Let me know what you'd like to see in a vampire-Bella story! I'm still not quite sure of the direction, only of the beginning (so chapters will get longer)! Also, this will be ExB!

**Released: **2/21/2009**  
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	2. First Sight

Note: This has been re-editted as of 3/16/2009.

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**1. First Sight**

_Seattle 2008_

_Edward POV_

Something tickled my nose when I walked into the classroom – I could smell the scent of freesias. It was fresh, tantalizing, alluring. My eyes quickly scanned the student body of 200 and laid eyes on someone I didn't expect to find… another vampire.

She caught sight of me just when I caught sight of her.

Her eyes were surprisingly golden and she looked perfectly in control sitting in this room with so many delectable meals surrounding her, waiting for the introductions to their first year at medical school to begin. What was a vampire doing here?

It didn't at all make any sense with anything I had ever learned about others of my kind with the exception of one, my father, Carlisle. But Carlisle was an extreme example of kindliness and good in the world where there was so much evil and destruction.

I did not usually do this, but I opened my mind to the noise and the chattering thoughts of so many other people in the room to sift through the ruckus just so I could figure her out. It was not easy, latching on to a mental voice I had never heard before, but as I picked through the crowd I could not find hers.

_I'm nervous, I don't know what to expect…_

_This is going to be boring. I'm wasting my time here…_

_I should have slept in. I'm tired…_

_I can't wait to start! _

_Why are there no cute guys… oh wait, the one in the front is hot. Damn hot—_

I closed my mind and shut out the other voices, which was easy when I was thinking about something. Hers was not in the mix of voices, but perhaps it was because I couldn't pick it out in the crowded ocean. Or she just wasn't thinking about anything right now.

She smiled at me and suddenly I remembered something Alice had once told me when I had asked her about love… _"It's difficult to explain to someone who has never felt it and perhaps it's easier for me when I have the ability to conceive the future, but love can hit you all at once and knock the breath out of you." _

I felt exactly like she had said – breathless. I knew I was smiling back at her and it probably looked ridiculously dorky, but I couldn't help it. Now, even more than before, I wanted to hear her thoughts, to know if she was feeling what I was feeling.

Emotions so sudden, so completely absorbing that I had to be hallucinating because love at first sight, did such a thing even exist?

They existed… in movies or fantasies.

What I felt couldn't possibly be love. I would leave it at attraction. It had been a long while since I had come across another female vampire that I didn't consider a sibling and this particular female was beautiful in just my sort of way.

She had dark brown hair, luminous pale skin that wasn't the chalky white it could have been, and her eyes were gentle and held just the right amount of curiosity I thought. I chuckled silently as I had to analyze her, the first time I really had to think about what someone was thinking in nearly a century. How frustrating and refreshing all at once!

"Now if everyone would find a seat, we will begin the introductions to your coursework this semester!" boomed a baritone rich voice from the front of the hall.

His comment was clearly directed toward me, since I was the only standing and luckily, I didn't look entirely foolish because my mind worked swiftly at a speed humans couldn't comprehend things and I hadn't been standing there for more than half a minute at most and I did have the dilemma of finding a seat in the very crowded lecture hall.

Luck was not on my side, I noticed, since there wasn't a seat available near the girl. I settled for squeezing into a seat in the back row where I could stare at her without appearing to look at her at all and at the same time, pay just enough attention to the man in the front who would be illustrating to us the trials that awaited us as first year medical students.

It was nothing I hadn't heard before. After all, it wasn't my first time to attend medical school. I had gone once before, about fifty or so years ago and I'm sure not much had changed. They'd probably added more on humanity to create a more well-rounded doctor, but it was still all basic sciences the first two years.

I had been almost tempted to go abroad this time, just to experience something different, but Esme, my mother, preferred that I stay close to home and I was literally a short run away from home back in Forks. It wasn't bad being close to my family. I missed them tremendously when I wasn't around, but sometimes I needed to be by myself too.

It was a difficult thing, being able to read minds and it had taken me a long time to master my power and if I hadn't had Carlisle from the very beginning, I don't know if I could have stayed sane. I was extremely lucky that I only had the tiniest portion of my ability when I was a human, unlike Alice. As much as my real parents had loved me, I don't think they would have taken too kindly to a son that heard 'voices.'

I wonder how _she_ would take it when she knew that I was a mind reader. I stared at the back of her head, at her glossy brow hair and wondered why I still couldn't hear her thoughts. She was completely silent. Even someone who was good at blocking their thoughts couldn't be that good. It was hard to keep thinking about nothing for too long, it was much easier just to think of incessant, boring things – repeating string of Latin words or singing an annoying song as Alice often did to keep me out of her mind.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that maybe she wasn't blocking me, maybe I just couldn't hear her. My eyes widened for a fraction of a second as I processed the bizarre possibility that she might be the one creature in the world I couldn't hear. Unbelievable and utterly astonishing and that much more fascinating.

Now if it was true, that I couldn't read her mind at all, then more than ever did I want to meet her. I wasn't only attracted to her, I was curious as well. I don't remember the last time I was curious about someone. It was hard to be curious when you knew exactly what that person was thinking. Maybe that was why I had never fallen in love.

Maybe it was hard to fall in love when you knew intimately what the other person thought about you and about everything else. There was no mystery, no learning involved. It was too easy, too simple.

I stared at the girl with renewed interest. I wanted to know her name and I wanted to _guess_ at what she was thinking.

Yes, that would be fun. I smiled to myself, thinking that going to medical school again for the second time might not be as tedious as I thought. I don't really know why I chose to do it again. I usually liked trying new things, but maybe fate was leading me to this strangely silent girl.

Fate, I scoffed, had handed me a crap hand to play with.

And yet, I should be grateful for all the good, wonderful people in my life, but I didn't fit into their perfectly happy world. I was the joker in a deck of cards. I needed to be tossed out at the start of the game. Carlisle and Esme. Jasper and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie. They were all matched pairs and I was the odd one out.

I was used to this, I had been living like this for decades and it hadn't really bothered me in the beginning because I knew one day I would find her… the girl that was meant for me. I didn't want to wait centuries though, like it took Carlisle to find Esme, and maybe it wouldn't. Maybe this girl in front of me, the freesia smelling girl was the one.

I was getting ahead of myself, being optimistic. I'm sure Alice would crack a smile at that. Me being optimistic about love? About anything? Now that was surely a laugh. I was the hopeless pessimist and I had a right. Who wouldn't be a little downtrodden when they had the ability to listen to everything that no one else should ever hear?

I still don't know if I liked my power. It's useful and it's a burden.

And the one time I really want it to work, it doesn't.

I looked at the clock on the wall, it hasn't even been ten minutes yet and we still had nearly two hours of lecture before we'd be free for lunch and I could approach her and find out more about her in the normal way. That amused me, to actually get to know someone without peering into their head.

I glanced absently away from her to the front, where a professor was droning on about gestation. This was certainly the last day of class that I would be attending. Thank goodness for streaming video lectures, although… if she went to class then maybe I would go as well, if she proved as interesting as I hoped.

For what else did I have to occupy my eternal existence?

**To be continued…**

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**A/N: **I wasn't really sure where I was going with the story and I'm not sure why I set it in medical school, maybe because it would be easier for me to write about it since I'm in medical school myself. ^_^;;. I hope you liked the peek into Edward's mind and I hope I did his voice okay. As for Edward's characterization here, hopefully it looks familiar and not too OOC, although of course it's going to be different since (1) Edward doesn't want to drain her dry (2) she's a vampire, so none of this OMG I can't be with her b/c if I change her I'm going to damn her soul. The story will be alternating between Bella's POV and Edward's in a way that hopefully won't throw you for too much of a loop.

Please please pretty please keep reviewing and let me know if I should continue (and also, suggestions never hurt!).

**Released:** 2/24/2009


	3. The Change

**Note:** There were minor changes made to the prologue, a paragraph added and some small additions, you may want to read it again.

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**2. The Change**

_London 1760_

_Bella POV_

"What possessed you?" I heard someone say in harsh voice.

It was the only clear thing I had heard in ages. I realized then I had stopped burning. I did not feel wonderful, but it was a relief that the pain was gone. I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid to see find out where I was. For surely I must be in Hell.

"She is not more than a child!"

"I think you are mistaken. She is nearly a woman." This voice was vaguely familiar. It was musical and I had heard it before, but where?

"A girl child at most," the other man said sadly. "I thought better of you."

"I will not justify myself to you. I brought her here because it has been more than three days and she is still burning."

I did not understand what they were talking about, but when he said I had been burning for more than three days… I understood that. It was exactly what my body had been feeling in simple terms. Had I had some sort of fever?

Where was I? Who were these strange men?

"What? That's impossible from what I know of our kind from the Volturi. It only lasts three days."

"Well, today is the fourth and she has not awaken."

Had it really only been four days of torture? It felt so much longer to me. I hesitantly opened my eyes and I saw same darkly handsome man hovering above me talking to another impossibly beautiful blond man. I was rightfully dazzled by them, and although I felt better than I had in days, my throat strangely ached.

"She's awake!" the blond man exclaimed, staring down at me with his golden eyes.

"Is she?" the other, more familiar man turned to me and I noticed then that his eyes were deep, unnatural red.

Who were these men? What did they want with me? Was I in Hell or Heaven?

"I am Alistair, your creator, and he is Carlisle, a friend of mine and a doctor." Alistair gestured at the blond man. "How do you feel?"

His voice was like the bells that rang for church and it soothed me even though I didn't understand why. And what did he mean by when he said he was my creator? Why was he somehow familiar to me when I don't remember where he came from?

"Strange," I answered.

"What is your name?" Carlisle asked.

"My name?" For a moment, I couldn't recall and I almost flew into a panic before I did remember. "Isabella Swan," I said when it came to me and at the same time, I knew I knew nothing about myself.

"That is good," Carlisle said in a gentle voice, which wasn't as musically alluring as the man who called himself Alistair. "It is all right, if you do not remember much at this time. You have undergone quite an ordeal and I believe it would be best if Alistair explained."

Carlisle turned to Alistair, then said, "I think she is fine, but you both are free to stay here as long as you would like. I will take my leave now. Let me know if you need anything."

I was left alone with this man who said he was my creator, which made no sense to me if he was not God. How else could anyone create someone else? But I didn't think he was God, if anything he was a dangerously beautiful Devil.

"I do not know how to tell you the truth," Alistair said. "Do you remember anything of your prior existence?"

There were vague shadows of memories in my head, but nothing concrete. The only thing I knew was my name. I was grateful to have that much when everything else was so bizarre.

I shook my head slowly, carefully.

"Does your throat ache?" he asked.

I nodded. I had noticed it earlier.

"I suppose I should just say it bluntly."

I waited, watching him carefully, wondering if he was going to declare I was in Hell.

"Have you ever heard of vampires? Creatures that suck blood and are immortal?"

I had, so I nodded, not understanding why he should ask those questions.

"You are not human anymore, Isabella," he said slowly. "You are, as I am, a vampire."

I stared at him without any comprehension, even though I had heard his words. What did he mean I was no longer human? That I was a vampire? Such things were fantastical and only existed in books. Why didn't he just say I was dead and in Hell?

"I can see that you do not believe me, which is understandable," he remarked. "I would not believe it myself; however, that does not change the fact that what I am saying is true." He glanced away from me. "Perhaps, it would have been kinder if you had died."

"Did you save me?"

For some reason, he laughed, but it was only briefly before his expression turned serious again. "You could put it that way."

"You said you were my…" my voice trailed off because it seemed strange to say anyone that wasn't God was my Creator.

"Your Creator," Alistair finished for me. "You are still alive, although I have changed you. I will not say existing as a vampire is easy, but there are benefits. You are nearly invincible and except for pesky annoyances, like drinking blood to sustain yourself—"

"You bit me." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

I remembered now where I had seen him before. Looking at him as we were conversing, I could see his face when he had turned me around that night when I was walking back from the park. He had said something to me, but I couldn't recall the words.

I lifted my hand to my neck where he had bent his head and sunk his teeth into me. I stared at him and wondered why I was here instead of being dead. It was obvious I had been his prey.

"You didn't save me," I said, the burn in my throat increasing exponentially. I didn't understand why it was hurting so much, but I could hear some people talking outside, the low rumble of voices. "You were going to kill me."

"And yet I did not."

One moment I was on the bed across from Alistair and the next moment I was at the window staring down at the humans across the street. They smelled wonderful and I craved to be closer, to draw them nearer, to sink my teeth into their pliable skin and to suck the life out of them… I was a monster.

"I couldn't," Alistair said, standing close behind me.

He placed his arms on my shoulders, holding me back so I didn't leap out of the window and take their lives. I struggled, though, warring with the desire to feed and not wanting to hurt them.

"I will need to take you to feed," Alistair remarked, tightening his grip on me. "I should have brought you something back. It would be easier."

I was stunned at his words. "I don't…"

He turned me around, reminding me of that night again when my life had changed. "You don't what, Isabella?"

"I don't want to hurt anyone," I whispered, looking into his crimson eyes and wanting to understand that even though I remembered next to nothing about my human life – I still didn't want to be a monster if I could help it.

"I was right to bring you here," he murmured to himself before focusing back on me. "You do look rather young," he mused.

It alarmed me a little to have him stare at me so intently and the feeling would have been worse if I wasn't so caught up by the burn in the back of my throat. I could still smell the humans. It wasn't as strong, but it was still there tempting me. The monster wanted to go and the other part of me, the human part, was saying no. Although I couldn't remember my former life, I knew enough to say that I had been a decent person and I wouldn't want to take a life.

He sighed and pulled me away from the window. "You need to feed," he explained.

"But I—"

He pressed his finger against my lips and I looked at him with uncertainty. "The blood does not necessarily need to come from a human."

My eyes widened in understanding. "So I don't have to kill anyone?"

For the first time, I saw him smile. "You two," he said, lowering his hand and shaking his head.

Again he wasn't talking to me, that much I knew, but then who was he referring to?

"Come," he said, pulling my arm as he held my hand tightly, "Carlisle will know where we can procure you something that is not human."

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**To be continued…**

**A/N:** I don't really like making up new characters, so I thought Alistair would be nice change as Bella's creator/sire. I'm still wondering exactly why he changed her, but I guess I'll discover that as I write more. Hopefully, the timeline doesn't bother you. I think it's interesting to see Bella's viewpoint as a newborn vampire and to see Edward's viewpoint in the present. Eventually, the two viewpoints will converge and then you'll get to see the full aspect of their relationship.

Please keep reviewing, it keeps me going (any thoughts or suggestions or predictions would tickle me)! And thanks to everyone who added the story to favorites or alerts!

**Released:** 2/26/2009


	4. A Conversation

Note: This has been re-edited as of 3/18/2009

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**3. A Conversation**

_Seattle 2008_

_Edward POV_

It was impossible to get to her when lecture was over because everyone got up and blocked me whenever I tried to maneuver over to her. I lost sight of her when she disappeared outside of the room and I was certain that I wouldn't get to see her again until tomorrow and I was disappointed.

"Hello," said an impossibly beautiful voice and even before I turned in its direction I knew it was her.

She was standing, leaning against the wall, waiting for me. She was gorgeous, absolutely breathtaking. I took a deep breath and she smelled even better closer up than she had from far away. It was definitely freesias, I decided. There wasn't a better flower to describe her scent.

I was dreadfully relieved that my heart didn't beat anymore or else she would be able to hear my excitement. She cleared her throat and I noticed then that she wasn't smiling, but her eyes looked amused and curious – friendly enough. I stepped over to her until we were standing face-to-face. I directed my full concentration at her and I still couldn't hear her thoughts. It was aggravating to say the least.

"I understand now," she remarked, breaking into a smile.

What had she figured out? I was confused.

"You look thwarted," she explained. "More so before than now."

How did she know I was frustrated that I couldn't read her mind? Was she too a mind reader? I had never met one before except for Aro of the Volturi; of course, that didn't mean they didn't exist. All of a sudden, I was acutely aware that if she was capable of reading minds, then she would hear all my private thoughts and I was extremely embarrassed.

"I'm Bella," she said, holding out her hand. "You are…?"

"Edward," I responded slowly, taking her hand and momentarily tempted to lift it to my lips as I would have a century ago before such courtesies had gone out of fashion. I shook her hand and released it, fairly certain that my brief panic that she was a mind reader was entirely uncalled for. "I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance."

"So proper," she said.

I wondered desperately what she was thinking as she studied me. For once, for all the times I had heard girls her age admire me to my disgust, I wanted her regard. I wanted her to find me pleasing, as pleasing as I found her.

"Walk with me?" she asked, tilting her head to the direction of the exit.

I nodded and I was careful not to stand too close as to get into her space, but close enough that the scent of freesias danced into my nostrils. I wanted to tell her how good she smelled to me; however, that would be too forward.

We left the medical school building and were immediately outside in the bustle of activity on the sidewalk and the streets. By focusing on her, I kept my mind from being infiltrated by the many surrounding voices. I looked up at the dark gray clouds in the sky when I felt a raindrop hit my cheek.

Seattle was quite dreary and wet, perfect for our kind. I wonder if that was why she was here. I wanted to ask her so many questions, wanted to know so many things that I didn't even know how to begin. I was quiet instead, walking beside her, thinking. What should I say to break the silence?

"I hope—" I began.

"Do you—" she started.

We both looked at each other and turned away abruptly, the only sign of our mutual embarrassment. I was glad I could no longer blush because I am sure my face would be beet red right now.

"You first," I said, recovering quickly.

"No, you."

I glanced at her from the side, she looked relaxed enough except for the way she kept moving her hand to her face to push back her hair. It wasn't windy and her hair wasn't even in her face. It was different to read her via her actions, even her expressions. I relied so much on being able to pry into the mind to understand people. Now I didn't have that luxury.

"I hope you don't mind me asking," I began hesitantly, "but… why medical school?"

A smile lit upon her face and I couldn't quite read the emotions behind it. There were too many flittering across and it was impossible to adequately name any of them with the exception of one descriptor – it was warm, her smile.

"I was inspired," she said simply before turning to me with inquisitive eyes. "What about you?"

I didn't know how to answer her. Should I tell her the truth? It was hardly an impressive answer. I was here because there was nothing better to do and Carlisle thought that it would do me some good to brush up on my medical knowledge incase he ever needed an assistant. I thought Esme would have made a better choice; she had more control over her bloodlust than I did. The only reason I could think of was that I had already gone to medical school once before out of the drive for knowledge. It would be easier for me to learn it again than for her to learn it from scratch.

The only question really was why did Carlisle even need assistance when he worked in a hospital that had nurses and other staff… but whatever, I had gone through the ridiculous application process, which made applying to an undergraduate university seem like child's play. I was here now and I had to admit, I was enjoying medical school, even if it wasn't for the reason that Carlisle would want.

"You don't have to answer if it bothers you," she said, luring me from my thoughts.

"It doesn't bother me," I answered quickly, looking at her, trying to read her. I was fairly certain she would appreciate honesty. "I just don't know how to answer," I told her, which was true enough. "It's odd, isn't it? Being in medical school when we are what we are?"

"It is rather unusual," she agreed. "I'm surprised to find anyone else that would do this actually."

"It takes a lot of control."

She nodded. "I noticed your eyes when you walked in."

"I noticed yours too."

"How long have you been—" her voice broke off and she abruptly stopped walking. "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be asking you so many questions. Sometimes I'm far too curious for my own good."

"No, go ahead."

I don't know why I didn't mind her prying into my life. I was typically a very private person, but it seemed like I had known her for longer than the scant few hours since I had laid eyes on her. I suddenly wondered if Alice had seen this – me and Bella walking randomly down a street in no particular direction, talking.

I tried to recall if Alice had been doing anything peculiar in her thoughts, like singing a retarded pop song or reciting designer labels. But no, Alice was Alice the last time I saw her. There was nothing to make me suspect anything. It was a little strange that she hadn't seen this and been bouncing off the walls in excitement and not telling me what was coming. It was unlike her.

"How long have you been… the way you are?" she asked.

"Nearly a century," I answered just as my cell phone started ringing loudly.

It was an obnoxious ring and I automatically knew who was calling me – Alice. I would have changed the ring, but whenever I did Alice could see it and would immediately change it back whenever she could get my phone away from me, which wasn't hard when she was looking for a way. She said it was highly important that she could reach me at any point and it did make sense, but still… did the ring have to be this annoying?

"Sorry, but it's important."

Bella gestured for me to go ahead and I pushed the talk button.

"EDWARD!" Alice exclaimed in her shrill voice. "I saw you at the medical school and then all of a sudden you disappeared from sight. What the hell is going on? Where are you? Are you okay?"

Since when did anyone disappear from Alice's sight? This was Alice we're talking about and there wasn't anything she couldn't see, although the truth of her visions weren't always accurate. Of course, they were just possibilities that were dependent on choices. Regardless, Alice was never unable to see something if she really wanted to see it.

"I'm fine," I said. "Are you sure that you're not just trying too hard?"

Sometimes when Alice tried too hard, it made it difficult for her to grasp the vision hovering at the edge of her consciousness.

"I'm not trying too hard. I can't try when I can't see anything!" she retorted.

I looked at Bella and she was politely standing there, trying to make it seem like she wasn't eavesdropping on our conversation, but it was hard when even a human could hear what Alice was saying on the phone without too much of a problem. Where was Alice's discretion?

Hmm… well if she couldn't see me, then she didn't know I was with someone.

"Alice," I said, "can I call you back later?"

"Later? I want you to come home now and I want you to sit down so I can stare at you and figure out what's going on. I want a _vision_ of you doing something, not this giant void in my head! Come back now, Edward or—"

"I can't. I'm busy."

"I don't care if you're busy—"

"I'm with someone," I muttered, knowing that was the only way to get her off my back.

"What? Oh…" At first, she sounded surprised then her voice took on a conspiratorial edge. "Well then, have fun and be safe!"

I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye before she hung up on me. I glared at my cell phone, imagining the kinds of torturous questions Alice would ask if I walked through the front door. I was really glad at this moment that I had decided to live away from home, although it really wasn't that far driving as fast as I did. I needed to make sure that Alice wouldn't want to pop in for a surprise visit.

It's not that I didn't want Bella to meet Alice or the rest of my family, I just wanted to get to know her a little better and to keep her to myself for a while. Everyone in my family had someone of their own, maybe Bella could be that someone for me. I groaned to myself, I was getting far too ahead of myself. This was only our first conversation!

"That was amusing," Bella remarked.

I jerked my face toward her and couldn't for the life of me decide what the expression on her face meant. Was she curious? Was she annoyed? What on earth was she thinking after hearing that conversation?

"You should tell her not to worry about her lack of visions."

I stared at her, not knowing what to say to that.

She tilted her head and her hair cascaded to the side. "He probably won't like this, but I think I can trust you. I have this feeling…"

I knew what she meant, I felt like I could tell her anything, which was absurd considering the short amount of time we were technically acquainted. It was nothing for a human and much less for a vampire.

"So can I?" she asked, smiling and dazzling me. "Can I trust you?"

I nodded.

"I'm a shield," she said as if that explained everything, which in a way it did. "And you have a mental power, I believe."

"I'm a mind reader," I responded.

"Ah." She paused, looking intently at me, making me slightly nervous. "That makes perfect sense. Does your gift require touch?"

I shook my head. "I can hear the thoughts of anyone at a certain distance."

"Incredible."

I rolled my eyes, a modern way of expressing myself that I had acquired in recent years. "Your gift is fairly astonishing as well."

"Touché."

She was still smiling and I was pretty sure I was smiling right back at her. There was something about this girl that called to me. It wasn't just her ravishing scent or her glorious beauty. It was her essence that drew me. I wanted to know more of her. It was the first time since I woke and found myself a vampire that I was glad of it – for it gave me this chance.

A chance for what, though?

"Edward," she said and my name sounded sweet from her lips, "my ride is here."

I saw a dark gunmetal BMW parked at the side of the road with its back taillights flashing in a towing zone. I wanted to grab her hand and tell her that I didn't want her to go, but who was I to do that?

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, waving as she opened the door.

I lifted my hand to wave back at her. "Have a good day!"

"You too!" she shouted before she got into the car.

I caught a glimpse of a man, another vampire in the BMW just as it sped away. I watched the car disappear into the distance, wondering who that man was with her. What was he to her? I was aware that I was jealous, envious, and it was all irrational. It wasn't like she was mine. Maybe she was his…

What an unpleasant thought. I sighed. I had no choice but to wait until tomorrow.

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**To be continued…**

**A/N: **I took some liberties as the writer to change a few things, like Alice not being able to see Edward when Bella is there. I would like to think Bella's powers would grow over the years and regardless, she's a bit of a different kind of shield than in the books, but that's my license as this is an AU. I hope the story is still as intriguing as ever and I hope you're enjoying Edward's POV in the present. Also, the chapters will probably gradually lengthen, this chapter is several hundred words longer than previous ones

Please review, it makes my day and brings a smile to my face! (200+ hits for the last chapter with 31 story alerts only 8 reviews, you guys can do better than that, right?). ^_^.

**Released: **2/28/2009


	5. Departure

**Note:** It's important to read the A/N (author's note) at the end. I have a few important questions about the story and I need your opinions! You get to have a say in the story! ^-^! I can't start the next chapter until I get some responses. Thanks!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**4. Departure**

_London 1760_

_Bella POV_

"It isn't wrong, you know," Alistair remarked as he patiently watched me suck the blood from a pig that Carlisle had acquired from the butcher before it could be skewered for me. "To feed on humans. It would be like saying it is wrong for cats to kill mice. It is in our nature, Isabella. We are the predators and they are the prey."

"I am satisfied with this," I responded, tossing the pig away from me and reaching up to wipe my mouth only to find Alistair dabbing his handkerchief on my lips.

"You have good control for a newborn. I may have stopped you from leaping out the window the first night, but you could have gone after them if you had really wanted." Alistair paused, refolding the piece of cloth and placing it back into his pocket. "How long has it been since you awoke?"

"A week, I think."

"I have been in London for nearly a month then," he said. "It is time we left this city."

"Leave?" I asked.

It had never occurred for me to wonder if Alistair and Carlisle lived together. I assumed they did, even though vague recollections of them talking before I regained full consciousness made that seem unlikely. Not to mention the fact that their lifestyles were quite different. Carlisle, heaven knows how, was a doctor who treated humans with such compassion it was moving. Perhaps, that is why Alistair never criticized his lifestyle despite not agreeing with it.

I looked up at my Creator. Alistair was not inclined to the restricted diet Carlisle confined himself to and that I found myself mimicking. He fed on humans and that was how I came into existence. I had already watched him once out of curiosity and I found it difficult to see him feed without wanting to partake in the activity myself.

I do not know why he didn't just kill me like he had killed the man. It was hard enough for me to stop feeding once I started and yet Alistair had halted himself from drinking me dry. I fed on animal blood and it was not anywhere near as alluring as human blood. But why had stopped himself? I did not ask, not because I did not want to know, I was afraid of the answer.

What if I did not like it?

"I have a country estate," Alistair said. "It is only a few hours by horseback outside of London and it is secluded with hunting grounds."

He was being kind by taking me out of the city. And if it was only a few hours by horseback, that meant Carlisle was only a short run away. I had not really been able to test out my new abilities as a vampire, but I knew enough to know I was stronger and faster than I had ever been – invincible compared to a mere human.

"We will leave tonight, but first I will hunt once more," Alistair told me. "I would like to arrive early enough to show you the grounds."

I nodded, glad that he had never invited me to come with him again after the first time. Alistair was not a bad man and I was sure I could have had a worse Creator, but still – I wonder what life would be like for Alistair and I once we left Carlisle behind. Would Alistair push for me to feed on humans? Would I give into the temptation once I was away from the overly compassionate Carlisle? Would I become even more of a monster than I already was?

"I think Carlisle is back," Alistair said, hearing the faint noise of the front door opening and closing. We were in the kitchen and the pig that I had drained dry was lying where I had tossed it. "I will leave now, but I won't take long. Please be ready to depart once I return."

Carlisle appeared then from behind, not startling us because with our keen ears we could hear him coming. "I assume you are leaving to hunt?"

"Yes," Alistair confirmed. "Then we will depart for my country estate."

"You will not be extending your stay?" Carlisle asked.

Alistair shook his head. "I have already stayed longer than I intended."

They both looked at me and I glanced off to the side, knowing that I was the reason why. It made me slightly uncomfortable the way they treated me like I needed to be cared for. Alistair had held me back the first night because he was afraid I would expose myself, not because he cared that I would harm those humans. I am certain he would have procured me one if I had asked. As for Carlisle, he went through the trouble of bringing home animals for me to feed on, so that I wouldn't have to trouble myself with hunting as he did.

Both of them always made sure that one of them was with me at all times. It was not clear to me if they did not trust me or if they did not want to neglect me. I supposed I should feel grateful that they were there for me. And it had given me the chance to question them about vampires, about who I was now.

I still could not quite comprehend that I was immortal and that I was so beautiful. The first time I had looked in the mirror, I could not believe that it was me. The girl that had reflected back at me was unnaturally gorgeous. While my human memories were vague, I knew I had never been this lovely. All my imperfections had been erased and all my good features enhanced. Too bad the good things came with a cost – and what a price to pay!

"I will be back soon," Alistair reiterated, looking hesitant about leaving me like he had the previous times he had left.

I met his gaze and nodded. "I will be ready for you."

And with that, he disappeared out the door, moving so quickly that no human eye could keep up with him. I instinctively went to the doorway and watched him until he turned the corner and was out of sight. I stood there for a few more seconds before I went back inside, shutting the door behind me.

"I do not think I have ever seen Alistair care about anyone besides himself," Carlisle remarked.

I whirled around and found that he had somehow come up on me without my awareness. I still wasn't used to being a vampire, I am certain Alistair would not have been caught by surprise.

"Do you know why…" my voice trailed off before I finished what I was saying.

Did I really want to know? I had already wrestled with the question all week. I thought I had made peace with not knowing. After all, sometimes it was better to be left in the dark. I would have preferred to never know, to never experience being a vampire if I could change things.

I suddenly ached for my former life. Who had I been? I knew my name, Isabella. I must have had parents. What were they like? Why could I not remember? I know Carlisle had explained that the change was so difficult that the memories of before faded, but why did they both remember more than I did?

"He has not told me," Carlisle responded to my unfinished question. "I have asked several times."

"It was not random chance, was it?" I said, feeling strangely detached.

Did I want my change to mean something to Alistair? Was that good or bad? Did I remind him of someone? Thoughts like these would drive me insane if I kept on thinking about them. So many questions, so many possible answers…

"Alistair has never changed anyone before," Carlisle murmured. "And…"

"And?"

"And he always seemed satisfied being alone, wandering. I, on the other hand," Carlisle continued, a far off look in his eyes, "I would not mind having a companion."

"Why don't you?" I asked.

"It seems somehow wrong to take someone from the life they know."

After he said that, I could feel his warm and concerned eyes on me, worrying how I would take his honest words. I was not one to deny truth. It was wrong of Alistair to take my life away from me. I was young! I might not have any other virtue but that – and yet, what greater gift than youth? I had a full life ahead of me that I would never get to live.

"I am sorry that he took that from you, but what's done is done and it cannot be reversed. I may not approve of what he did or why he did it, and yet I think – I know you will be a blessing to him. You are a remarkable young woman, Isabella."

I did not know what to say to his kind words, his unexpected compliment. It was not the first time that I had wished he had been the one to change me and not Alistair. Every time I thought this I felt like I was betraying Alistair. It was confusing, my emotions. I resented him for robbing me of the life I could have had and yet thankful he had not decided to drain me dry and left me for dead.

But Carlisle as my Creator? We were kindred spirits, both loathing the idea of taking a human's life and wanting to be good. If I did not know Carlisle, I would say it was impossible for a monster to be good. And yet I knew him and I knew him to be as good as any person could be.

I did not allow myself to wonder beyond that about Carlisle and I. I promised myself that it would be the last time to think that. I should be more appreciative to Alistair. He was taking me to the countryside where there were hunting grounds. It could not just be for himself, not when he favored a human diet. He had brought that up specifically for me. It had to mean something.

Unfortunately, it meant leaving Carlisle behind.

"Will you visit?" I asked abruptly.

"I will," he promised.

I smiled at him, feeling instantly better that he would not disappear from my life as my memories had. I would be sad to go, but at the same time I knew it was for the best. As much as I did not want to give into temptation and drink human blood, it was difficult. Everyday I watched the people go from my bedroom window upstairs, thinking how easy it would be, especially at night, to swoop down and take my pick of them. I do not think I could even be discrete.

It was bad enough when Carlisle came back smelling sweetly of his human interactions. I stared at him, suddenly aware of the alluring scent permeating around him. My mouth began to water with my venom and despite having fed so recently, I was ravenous.

"I should go change," Carlisle said. "Will you be all right?"

I knew what he was asking. His voice seemed so far away. I concentrated on it. He was standing right next to me. Why did he sound so distant?

"_Isabella…_"

I suddenly found myself staring straight into his golden eyes. His face was right in front of mine, so close and so concern. "Carlisle?"

"The countryside will be good for you," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me, hugging me. "Alistair will take care of you and I will visit often. Everything will be okay."

I wished earnestly as I clung to him that all his words would be the truth.

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, keep it up! I do enjoy reading what you think ^-^!

I hope that Bella will not seem as she is having too easy of a time, staying away from human blood and hopefully Alistair is slightly more sympathetic here and yet not overly good either. He is what I would I call a 'complicated' character, but hopefully Bella will be good for him. Any ideas why he changed her? As for Carlisle, I'd been waiting for Bella and Carlisle to have a heart-to-heart and here it is!

Now my questions for you #1: Do you want more of past Bella now or shall I skip right to the present and come back to past Bella at a later time point or should I explore Bella a little more in the past? I'm a bit undecided at this point, although there are so many interesting possibilities with either!

#2: Would you like to see POVs other than Bella's and Edward's? If so, who? At the moment, I'm thinking Alice at the very least in the present. Maybe Alistair and Carlisle in the past. Any thoughts? Thanks!

**Released:** 3/2/2009


	6. Visions

**Note:** Re-edited on 3/18/2009

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**5. Visions**

_Forks 2008_

_Alice POV_

"I love you…"

I turned my head instinctively to look around me, except that there was no one there. I had known that though. Everyone in the family was off doing their own thing, Emmett and Rosalie were living as a newly married couple in San Francisco while Esme and Carlisle were on another one of their numerous honeymoons. Only Jasper and I were left at the house and he was currently hunting.

We would soon have to leave Forks and move somewhere else. Maybe Esme would want to move to Seattle to be closer to Edward? I wouldn't mind being in a city again. I missed the activity of a metropolitan area, and yet I worried about Jasper and his ability to control himself. I trusted him more than anyone else in the world, but at the same time I knew his limitations. It had to be hard to change your diet after all those years…

Maybe it wouldn't even be necessary for us to move to Seattle. Edward had almost not finished medical school the first time. I didn't understand why he wanted to go through that hell again – the tedious hours and the pervasive smell of human blood – when he had already proven he could do it. It would have been too much for any of us other than Carlisle and perhaps Rosalie. Neither of them had ever tasted human blood.

We could always go to Alaska. It wasn't exactly the best place to dabble in my hobby of fashion, but it was a vast space for us to just be ourselves without the concern that humans invariably brought. To be that free again, it would be marvelous! Jasper would be more at ease as well and it would be lovely to see his face smile without a worry.

If only I could see Edward's future and know that possibility was in the cards, I could convince him to come with us and give up on this ridiculous waste of time. His future had been aggravating me for the last few hours because try as I might I could not see it. I could not see him at all. I had called him out of alarm and frustration. I did not understand how my gift could fail. I had never not been able to see something if I truly wanted to see it.

And yet now, I was blind.

"_I love you too." _

Again there was a voice and it was not a voice I recognized. Suddenly I felt like I was falling, being propelled forward. Where before I could not have seen Edward's future with all my furious determination, now I could not stop the visions…

_They were dancing underneath the moonlight and Edward was smiling radiantly down at someone. Her face was covered by the shadows and her dark brown hair swaying as they twirled in the forest together. They fit into each other's arms perfectly and she was exuding joy. _

_Suddenly they stopped dancing and the girl laughed, her voice a sweet musical sound. Edward joined her, laughing as if they were nothing but a young couple in the throes of a first love. It was a beautiful picture, to see them holding hands. Edward brought her hand up to his lips and he kissed it. _

_It was so proper and so like him. _

I was ripped from that vision and thrust into another…

_Edward was alone here, sitting in his room, crouched into a huddle on the bed. The bedroom was a mess. Clothes were strung around everywhere . He looked downright awful. His hair was twisted and unkempt and he was staring blankly at the wall. His eyes were a pitch black and yet his body wasn't tense with the need to feed; instead his shoulders were slumped forward in defeat. _

"_Bella," he said. "Bella." _

Before I could grasp the situation, I was thrown out again.

_Edward was in a florist shop, breathing in the sweet scent of flowers. He wandered around the entire selection, stopping occasionally to smell different kinds of flowers, lingering the longest at some freesias. He brought the freesias to his nose and took the deepest breath. He smiled and took the bouquet out of its holder gently. _

_He wasn't done, though. He browsed through the other flowers, looking at their names and their meanings, all written in a neat calligraphy. Edward stopped when he came to a small bundle of flowers tied together. They were pretty in a plain way, hints of pink on mostly white petals arranged in a star-like configuration with its five petals. He picked them up and turned the card to read the tag tied to it. _

"_Trailing Arbutus, Thee only do I Love." _

_He smiled and bent his head to smell the flowers. His smile grew even wider and he turned around when the shopkeeper came up to him and asked him if he needed any help. He told her that he was done and that he would take both of these flowers. The shopkeeper had a faint blush on her face as she checked him out and after he was done paying, she told him to have a good day and to come back soon._

_He looked over his shoulder and said, "Thank you." _

This time I wasn't surprised when I was pulled away.

_They were walking hand-in-hand and it should have been permeating with happiness, but the mood was somber. The atmosphere was grey, covered as they were by the trees from the sunlight. Edward's expression was reserved and his lips were pressed together in that way that meant something was not right. The girl beside him was the same one from before, the one he had called Bella. Again her face was obscured and it was like she wasn't really there with him even though she was. _

_She said something to him that I couldn't make out and then the shadows that shrouded their figures disappeared. They stepped out of the forest and I gasped. It was beautiful – a vibrant green meadow of flowers – was this Edward's special place? One of his many hideaways where he went to be free from the thoughts that infiltrated his mind? And for him to show her this…_

"_I don't care," he said fervently. "I will go to the ends of the earth with you." _

_She was saying something and—_

I screamed with frustration when I resurfaced unwillingly from my vision of _them_ – Edward and Bella. She must be the one for him and the one he was with earlier when I called. Already she was important to him if he was willing to drop my call and promise to call me back. The question was… is she the reason I couldn't see him? I definitely couldn't see her in my visions of him. What was going on?

I had no idea and it was driving me crazy. I had to find out. I always had an idea of what was going on and not knowing was going to kill me. I grabbed my cell phone and pressed the #3 speed dial. Edward was only after my voicemail and Jasper, that was how important he was to me and if this Bella made him feel that deeply – to go to the ends of the earth deeply – then it concerned me greatly.

I waited impatiently, tapping my fingers restlessly against the desk, waiting for him to pick up his phone. I knew I had a special ring and I had chosen it specifically because it was an attention grabber!

He better answer me. He obviously knew I was concerned, after all I had called him to complain about my lack of visions! Besides it had already been almost an hour after he had promised to call me back. The nerve of him sometimes… it was enough to drive any clairvoyant insane.

"Alice."

I was so relieved that I hadn't gotten his voicemail that I couldn't be annoyed it had taken him four rings to answer my call. "The one you were with earlier, is her name Bella?"

"How did you know?" he asked, sounding perplexed.

"I saw you with her, of course, well, more like I saw you and a vague impression of a girl next to you. I can't really see her clearly for some reason. Maybe it's because I've never met her? Anyway, how did you meet? What is she like?"

"What did you see?"

I made a face at the phone, sticking my tongue out for good measure, even though he couldn't see me. Edward hadn't answered my questions and he expected me to answer his? He was so incredibly frustrating.

What I wouldn't give to see his expression right now. I wondered why we Americans were so behind the rest of the world, especially Japan. They already had video calling over there. Did he look fluster? Too bad vampires didn't blush, I bet anything he would have turned crimson at the mention of Bella.

"What do you think I saw?" I teased.

"Alice…" he growled.

"Oh, how menacing!"

"_Alice!" _he said in exasperation.

"Well, why should I answer your questions if you don't answer mine?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "I was with Bella. Now answer mine."

"Nuh-uh, you haven't told me how you met her and what she's like."

He let out an animalistic sound that was between a grumble and grunt – something a human couldn't possible make. I hope he was in his apartment. I narrowed my eyes and concentrated on Edward. Hmmm… he was going to be boring again tonight and stay in. How typical of him. He was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking and likely thinking about her.

Knowing him, he would think of her all night and then not do anything the next day. He would probably talk himself out of everything. I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be a little chicken shit and just go for it, but he would likely tell me all the good reasons he should deny himself. Edward was all about self-denial.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I hadn't ask a very important question. It would make a huge difference to the situation, depending on the answer. "Is she human?"

"You don't know?" Edward said, then he laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!" I shouted. "I can't see her for some fricking reason!"

"I suppose I shouldn't laugh," he murmured, sounding amused at me and himself. "I can't hear her myself."

"What!?"

"She's a shield," he said. "It's probably why you couldn't see her earlier."

"Then she's a vampire?"

"Yeah."

"Good," I said more to myself than to him. "What's she like? How did you meet her? I need details, Edward!"

"She's different," he said carefully. "Interesting."

"She fascinates you, doesn't she?"

He sighed, he always did that when he was talking to me. I didn't get it, although Jasper would tell me when he wanted to provoke me that he understood exactly why Edward did that. Sometimes, a very small part of me, wanted to trade powers with Edward just to see what it would be like to know what people were thinking. At the same time, though, I couldn't imagine not knowing the future. It was comforting to never be surprised – to know what was coming.

"As for how I met her," Edward remarked, "I met her at school."

"She's in medical school? That's certainly different."

"She is… unique."

"You can say that again," I muttered.

I didn't understand how Carlisle could hold back his blood lust in the face of all that blood that was everywhere as it was in the hospital. I had only ventured into one once and it had been a horrible experience of control. I realized then I couldn't deal with it and I had stayed away ever since.

"Now," he said in a demanding tone, "tell me what you saw."

"I saw you with her."

"I know you saw more than that."

"Isn't it more fun this way? To discover it on your own?"

He hesitated, beginning to speak only to halt a moment later. Finally, he uttered the question I knew he would ask, "Does it end well?"

Trust Edward to cut to the chase. I stared out the window, seeing Jasper burst into view from out of the forest that surrounded the house. It was like seeing the sun free itself from the clouds. He was my light in the darkness. My heart, my love, my half.

"That far I cannot see."

"But what you do see… is it mostly good or is it mostly bad?"

"There are good things and bad things," I stated. "Such is the way of life and living."

"_Alice,_" he said, his voice desperate and pleading. "What do you think I should do?"

Edward never, ever asked me for advice.

I turned around abruptly when I heard Jasper coming into my room. The sight of him still after so many years made me sigh at how lucky I was to have found him. It would be incredibly lonely to have lived those years without him by my side.

"I think you should follow your heart."

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**To be continued…**

**A/N: **I think there were an even amount of readers that wanted only Bella/Edward POV and those that wanted more POVs, so I did what I decided would make a more powerful effect, which in this case was adding Alice's POV. I decided it worked best this way and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks you for all your wonderful reviews, it certainly pushed me to finish this sooner than I otherwise would have. So many wonderful and inspiring comments, I sincerely appreciate it!

A couple quick questions: #1 Would you like to see some of Edward's past? #2 Do you mind if I change up the canon past a little? #3 What would you like to see in this story?

**Released: **3/4/2009


	7. Wanderlust

**Note: **This has been re-edited as of 3/27/2009. Most notably, some timeline changes.

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**6. Wanderlust**

_Paris 1789_

_Bella POV_

It was another day of upheaval as the peasants demonstrated in the streets against the absolute monarchy. I watched Alistair as he sank his teeth into an elderly old man that we had stumbled across who had been trampled by the crowd and was nearly dead. I still did not approve of the taking of a human life, but I could not argue against Alistair when he was shortening a miserable existence.

Alistair lifted his head and his crimson eyes stared straight into me. "Isabella," he said, "you _need_ to feed."

I had not fed in days because we were currently trapped in the city because of the uproar that was going on everywhere. We could not leave without looking suspicious, especially when we were wealthy enough to be considered in danger of having the peasants turn on us as they had to the aristocracy. I supposed our saving grace was the fact we were foreigners, but we were English – the sworn enemy of the French. Yet because we were unnatural creatures, the humans instinctively knew to avoid us at all cost if they could. Our blessing was their salvation.

"I am fine," I stated, even though my hunger was making every human in my vicinity smell like heaven. My mouth was filling with venom and yet somehow I managed to stay away from them.

"You are trembling," Alistair said sharply, moving toward me, bringing the man closer. "I am willing to humor yours and Carlisle's desire to avoid drinking human blood, though I do not fully understand your persistence in the matter. To me it is a natural part of being a vampire and you and him are simply denying your true nature. While I will not force you to feed, consider this… if you do not feed and you starve yourself to the point where your control breaks, Isabella, then think of what will happen.

"You may not be of newborn strength any longer, but that does not mean it would be easy for me to stop you when you have hit a ravenous peak. This man, as you fully know, was dead before I got to him. He would have linger, suffering from his injuries and maladies, for who knows how long before passing on. You will be doing him a favor."

I was certain my eyes were black with the temptation so near to me. I struggled to control myself, to hold myself back. I heard his words. They were not without truth. I was dangerously close to losing control. I did not want to drink this man's blood, though. I did not want to break the fast I had held since I first was changed.

If Carlisle, who when changed had no idea who he was, managed to resist such enticement – how I could I fail when I knew already how to refrain?

"It is our nature," Alistair murmured.

The words were an additional enticement when I realized the man was within the reach of my hands. I shuddered as I grasped him by the arms and pulled him against me. I could smell how his life was rushing toward the embrace of death. I felt a small twinge of guilt as I bent my head instinctively as if he were a pig or a deer and sunk my sharp teeth into his jugular vein and drank in long, slow pulls. I savored this sweet delicacy I had never before tasted and I could understand a little why Alistair did not comprehend how me and Carlisle could forsake such nectar.

I drained the man to a dry husk of his former self and gently set him down on the ground. I had taken someone's life blood and yet not his life. He would have died today, tomorrow, or some day in the near future. I was remorseful for his death, although it did not sting my heart as much as I thought it would. His face, withered and pale, would forever be embedded in my memories as my first blood.

Would he end up haunting me?

"I am not as moral as you or Carlisle," Alistair said, bending down to rearrange the man's body into a more plausible posture of someone that had died of natural causes. "I do not believe in denying myself. Perhaps that makes me, how shall I say this… an evil monster?

"I know better than most how I am entrapped by my own warring desire to feed and to kill, but also to not let the monster rule me from inside and out. If I could have my way, I would be strong enough to resist, but I am weak and craven.

"I am also fallible," he stated. "If I were not, then you would not be standing here as a vampire. You would be safe and alive. Many times I have asked myself why I gave in to the sweet temptation? Why did I succumb? You are my singer. Your blood calls to me and I could resist partaking in it, and yet when I saw your innocent eyes, I could not take your life.

"I know I am not a good monster, like Carlisle, but am I so evil? I target individuals close to death's door. I do not steal their life per say, I merely hasten the procession. I am no worse than most and somewhat better than average. Is that such a sin, Isabella?"

I had always wondered why he had changed me instead of killing me. Was the reason so simple as that I was his singer? I had never heard of such a thing, but I had no reason to doubt Alistair. He had always been truthful to me, even when I did not want to accept it. I should be relieved. The explanation was not the fearful epiphany that I thought it would be, but still I doubted. Was that the entire story?

My one clear memory of my past was me staring at him, him staring at me, and I must have captivated him then as he had me. Was it really just the call of my blood? It must be, why would he lie?

"Carlisle will not judge you," Alistair said in warm, comforting tone.

I looked up at him, my Creator, thinking I was lucky to have him. He had taken care of me from day one and had never left me alone. If he had to leave, he always made sure I had someone – Carlisle. I suddenly yearned for the way it had been twenty years ago, when he, Carlisle, and I had traveled together shortly as a odd family. With Alistair's dark hair resembling my own, we passed for siblings and Carlisle was a cousin from our mother's side. It had been so fun and so carefree, especially since I had gained control over my bloodlust.

I wished for those days again, but it was hard to live as a family when it was much easier to fade into the background and not live in establishment. It was difficult for Alistair when his blood red eyes were so distinctive and different than the topaz Carlisle and I shared. And at the same time, it's not like Alistair could hide in the background and allow Carlisle and I to live as a pseudo-family – not when my dark hair and Carlisle's fair color were in direct contrast.

I wondered if anyone truly believed Carlisle was the cousin we claimed him as. The only similarity was our pale, pale skin. Truly it was fortunate that such fair colored skin was prized. It made it easier to pass ourselves off as wealthy never-do-well's. Neither Alistair and I worked, and though Carlisle did work as a doctor I am sure he was not paid often. Carlisle's heart was that of charity.

I did not let money matters concern me. I am sure that it was Alistair that provided most of the extravagance that we chose to live in when we had entered Society. Now, we were just wandering without a direction, living from inn to inn. It was different than the lifestyle we kept in England.

I was getting to know a different kind of Alistair on the road. He was not so stiff and refined now and I thought it a good change for him. I also felt closer to him, which could just be left to circumstance since Carlisle was not there to steal some of my attention away. All I had was Alistair.

"A pence for your thought?" Alistair asked, holding up said coin.

I smiled at him. "My mind does wander a lot, does it not?"

"You wander within you and I must drag us through all of Europe," Alistair remarked. "I think we are a matched pair."

I had not encountered any vampires before journeying with Alistair for the last two years. I had run into a few and the ones that did travel with others – especially if they were a man and a women – they were always mated. Was that a possible reason he had created me?

"How are you feeling?" he inquired.

I understood what he was asking. "Not as guilty as I thought," I admitted honestly. "I do not think I will partake often."

Alistair nodded. "I do not know how I had the fortune to meet two truly good people," he murmured. "I must be somehow blessed."

"The only one truly good is Carlisle."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You underestimate your heart and compassion. You may think it was wrong to drink this man's blood, but if you had not your control would have broken and you would have drank from an innocent. This man was gone before we got here and we likely eased his suffering. I do not think you would want anyone to linger in pain, would you?"

Our mutually crimson eyes met. "No," I said, remembering the pain of burning.

Alistair held out his hand to me. "Shall we go and brave the crowds?"

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** I think this chapter was important to write because I had yet to write much Alistair/Bella interaction despite the fact he is her Creator and an extremely important person in her life. I also needed to write that Bella has indeed drunk from human blood. As well as it is for Carlisle and Rosalie to have never tasted human blood, I think resisting after once tasting the forbidden fruit is also powerful in its own way. And at the same time, I do not think Bella would have done so without absolutely needing to.

Thanks for those that reviewed the last chapter. I won't be updating for a few days because I'm going on roadtrip for Spring Break. But please, please keep reviewing. I have 70+ story alerts and 250+ hits, I know you're reading but I'd love to know what you're thinking! (Also my other story I'm currently writing is totally winning the muse battle with this story because I feel guilty not writing when they review so earnestly!)

**Released: **3/7/2009


	8. Lecture

**Note: **Please review if you want this story to (1) be continued and (2) updated faster. Thanks!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**7. Lecture**

_Seattle 2008_

_Edward POV_

Temptation, or as some vampires liked to call it _human body count_, had decreased quite a bit from the first day of class. I would say at least a 1/5th of the class had decided to not attend because there was the luxury of streaming video. I was here, though, waiting with trepidation for Bella to arrive.

Had it only been yesterday that I had met her?

Everything had changed for me. Yesterday had brought the epiphany that there might actually be someone in the world that I was interested in. I had always known there was probably someone, but knowing that there was someone was entirely different. The feeling was overwhelming and indescribable. I had thought about her obsessively all night, wondering what she was doing and if she was thinking about me.

I had also thought about what Alice had told me. _"I think you should follow your heart."_

She must have seen something in the future that was good between me and Bella. Why else would she tell me to follow my heart? I trusted Alice with my life and I would trust her with my heart. She would not lead me astray.

I looked at the clock. Lecture was about to begin, but she wasn't here yet. I had even placed my requisite bag on the chair next to mine, saving her a seat. I had never done that before. I stared at my bag on the chair, wanting her to appear instantly there but she didn't. I glanced at the front and back doors and she was nowhere to be found. Where was she?

I cringed when I heard the lecturer begin by introducing himself as the Course Director of Biochemistry. She wasn't coming. It was obvious. She wasn't the type to be late. She had been on time or even early yesterday. Why would she come anyway? The lectures were available by stream and it was a lot less challenging to watch the videos in the comfort of home away from the enticement here.

I sighed. It was just… I had hoped she would be interested enough in me to show up today. It was clear that I was the one far more fascinated with her. And, of course, I didn't even know if she was free to be with me. There was that other vampire she had left with yesterday. Maybe he was her mate. Maybe he was jealous and hadn't allowed her to come to class today because of me. So many maybes and all I wanted was some certainty.

Was it ludicrous to have the slimmest hope that she might return the interest I had for her?

"Good morning," said the sweet voice I had imagined saying much more inviting greetings than that last night. I whirled around and saw Bella standing there with a tote that I couldn't identify, although I'm sure Alice would know the brand, the style, and everything else about it. "Is that seat for me?"

I nodded and yanked my bag out of the chair. "Please sit."

She smiled at me and all my doubts disappeared and I was captivated. Bella lifted a finger to her lips, _hush_. She knew I was going to say something. There were many words that had been on the tip of my tongue when she effectively quieted me with that simple movement. I nodded and followed her gaze to the front of the room where the lecture was beginning in earnest.

I leaned back in my seat, somewhat paying attention to lecture but honestly concentrating far more on Bella than anything else. I had learned biochemistry many times before in college and while it was taught in a more clinical fashion in medical school – the essence of biochemistry did not change much. It would be easy enough to read through the syllabus once or twice before the exam, especially at the speed a vampire could read.

I slid my eyes toward Bella, wanting her to glance sideways at me and meet my eyes, but her concentration was at the professor and the lecture he was giving. I was jealous all of a sudden at the stupid human in the front of the room that was getting her undivided attention. I wanted her eyes to be on me; I wanted her to listen to me with rapt interest.

I was being completely foolish and petty.

More than ever I wished I could read her mind. Then I would know for certain if she was really paying attention to the lecture or if she was bored. If she was bored then I could lean over a little and whisper to her in a voice that no human ear could pick up. We could hold a complete conversation without anyone else's awareness – lost in our own little world.

But I couldn't read her mind and I could only assume that she was interested by the lecture and that she wouldn't like it if I interrupted. After all, she had hushed me with her finger. I stared ahead, my eyes fixed on the clock as it ticked away at the seconds. Time was moving so slowly, more so now than it had even before when I'd been waiting for her to come. When was class going to be over?

I kept staring at the clock, willing it to move faster – to speed ahead. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The second hand moved at the same speed, going no faster and no slower. Finally, though the minute hand began to move, creeping up closer and closer to the end of lecture. I breathed a sigh of relief when the professor finished early. I eagerly fixated my gaze on Bella as she turned to me.

"I didn't know mind readers got bored," she remarked, her golden eyes were as astute as they were captivating. She had obviously noticed my agitation throughout the lecture and I was acutely embarrassed that I had been so transparent.

I cleared my throat unnecessarily. "I try not to pry too much into other minds." That was mostly true, except when curiosity got the better of me or when I wasn't concentrating and got far more information than I ever wanted.

She smiled and I felt it wash over me like the glow of the sun. "I must frustrate you."

"Why do you think that?" I asked, genuinely confused.

I didn't think she was frustrating at all. I thought she was fascinating. Maybe she had misinterpreted the way I kept looking at her for that instead of interest. Could it be she was that dense and naïve?

She laughed and the sound was musical to my eyes. Bella tapped her finger against her temple and I had to laugh at how my mind had quickly gone the wrong direction, especially since I could no longer use my mindreading ability to steer myself in the right direction. It occurred to me more and more how much I relied on my special power to read and understand people. Now I only had my eyes and ears. _It was frustrating!_

My eyes were transfixed on her. She was insightful, I had known this from the very beginning and I was starting to realize that I was very much in her mercy. She had years and years of experience on me with reading people without the need of a supernatural ability – I was an open book for her, I imagined.

Did she know how infatuated with her I already was?

How much more infatuated I could get with some simple encouragement? It was terrifying how so very accurate Alice's description of love was… I had thought she was being overly dramatic about it, but she must have been speaking from personal experience. I knew the love Alice and Jasper shared. I knew of Emmett's and Rosalie's – especially of Carlisle's and Esme's.

Of course, now that I had the slimmest taste of it, of course love would hit you hard and knock the breath out of you.

"Are you going to keep staring at me like that?" Bella asked with wry amusement as I blinked my way out of thoughts to find her staring back at me with a similar intensity that I must have had on her.

"I…" I stammered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude."

"I suppose I should apologize too," she murmured. "I was rude to stare at you _and_ tease you."

I looked up and saw that she was smiling at me. I wanted more and more of that. I felt like I was being bathed in sunlight under her warm regard. Was I misinterpreting everything or was there really something in her eyes that made me think she was somewhat interested in me? Did she feel the same fascination? Was it possible? Maybe this was all a dream, but what a sweet dream it would be…

"Whenever you daze out like that," she said softly, her voice too low for a mere human to hear, "I wonder if it's possible that I am vulnerable."

My eyes refocused on hers. "No," I admitted, "I cannot here one word from your mind. You are entirely isolated from me. I have never met anyone I could not read before and I have never met anyone that could keep Alice out from finding out their future if she honestly wanted to."

"Alice?"

"My sister."

"Ah," she said, a dawning of remembrance in her eyes. "The girl from yesterday, the one who called you, she was shrieking on the phone because she couldn't see you."

"And you told me you were a shield because you trusted me."

She nodded. "It's just this feeling I have."

"I know," I said, because I understood that I would bare my entire soul to her if I only had the time. "I feel the same."

"Is it silly," she began, her eyes locked onto mine, "to feel this strongly when we barely know of each other?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. _No._"

I was trembling as we continued to stare at one another. I felt strangely exuberant at the fact that I was not going through this alone. She also felt the feelings I had. Maybe it was not as strong as mine were, but the fact she felt them! It was a godsend. It was more than I could have hoped for. I was intensely relieved and elated.

_There was hope and more_.

"Now if everyone will open up their syllabus to page 46, we will begin where I left off before the break…"

Bella lifted her finger to her lips again, _hush! _I was extremely, irrationally jealous when she turned away from me and directed her full attention at the professor. I wanted to continue our conversation. I wanted to grab her hand and drag her from this mundane lecture, but I couldn't. I could only watch her, sneaking gazes and peeks, when it wouldn't be too obvious. How could I deprive her from this when I could see the want of knowledge in her eyes?

She reminded me of Carlisle. I wondered who had been the inspiration to lead her in this direction. I wondered why she had decided on this difficult path. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I had to be patient. I should be patient. It wasn't like we lived only so many years.

We had eternity.

"I think you should follow your heart."

**To be continued…**

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**A/N: **We finally get Edward's POV back and it's been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry that it took so long to update, but I've been severely lacking inspiration and it was slow-going to keep the quality up when I didn't feel my muse wanting to be cooperative.

Please, please review and throw me suggestions, advice, whatever if you want this story to continue! I need all the help I can get! I'm on 90 story alerts and get nearly 500 hits per chapter, you guys can do better than 11 reviews, right? There's a challenge ^-^!

Now back to work on my other Bleach story…

**Released: **3/24/2009


	9. Volturi

**Note: **This has been re-edited as of March 28, 2009. I apologize for the mistakes of the first draft; hopefully this has a lot less errors. Please review if you can, it does a lot for my muse ^-^!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**8. Volturi**

_Florence 1815_

_Bella POV_

I was never happier than when the three of us were together. I looked at Alistair and Carlisle, sitting together in front of the fireplace discussing the merits of something or another. It was a quaint sight and it warmed my heart. After twenty-odd years of roaming with Alistair all throughout Europe, we had met up with Carlisle in Berlin before heading on a southern course to Italy.

It was different, traveling with Alistair _and_ Carlisle, especially when I became Alistair's sister and Carlisle was the family acquaintenance. Maybe it was because when I was traveling with Alistair alone, I felt that people automatically assume that we were together romantically. It was not an inaccurate assumption.

Despite the fact that Alistair and I shared dark coloring, his hair was not quite as black of a brown as mine was and our eyes were entirely dissimilar since I still maintained a mostly animal diet. I would freely admitted, I cheated at times. Having once tasted human blood, it was harder to resist it.

At the very least, I could claim that I had never stolen an innocent's life. I have always simply fed off Alistair's leftovers. And most of his victims were old and dying or sickly and close to it. Sometimes they were criminals, the lowest of the low. I think he hunted those because it was easier on my conscience if we were contributing to society rather than just assuaging our hunger.

I laughed softly at myself. My mind had wandered off again. I smiled as I caught Carlisle looking at me. I was pretty certain that when the three of us were together, considering Alistiar and I posed as siblings, that Carlisle and I were assumed to have a tendre. It was interesting how the dynamics changed.

"I do not like this," Alistair said, stating not for the first time his feelings about seeking out the Volturi.

I understood readily enough his feelings. Alistair liked to be safe and he would not risk himself for anyone. Even though, he had known Carlisle for many years and they were close friends – he would not sacrifice himself. I was not even certain he would rescue me from peril, although I would like to believe that he would and I knew that Carlisle thought he would.

I supposed it meant something that Alistair would accompany me this far, this close to Volterra. I was pretty sure that Alistair was going to demand that we remain in Florence while Carlisle continued the rest of the way to Volterra, but I wanted to continue onward. I wanted to meet the Volturi, to study the marvelous books they must have in their private library… to discover secrets of my kind that I only had an inkling of.

"They will not harm us," Carlisle said firmly. "We are their guests."

"You are," Alistair remarked. "We are not."

"You are my guests," Carlisle responded. "And by default, that makes both of you their guests. I showed you the invitation. They said I was welcome to come and to bring any friends, if I chose."

"They are more powerful and more numerous than us. If they wanted to harm us, we would not be able to do anything about that. Do you really trust them, Carlisle? Do you trust your life, my life, and hers?" Alistair looked directly at me with his piercing red eyes.

He had once said I was Carlisle's weakness. I believed it to a small measure, for both of them were my weaknesses. I would do anything to keep them safe, to keep them together with me. They were my only friends. I cherished every moment I had with them and I hated it when they disagreed.

"I trust Carlisle," I stated, moving to stand behind him, gazing at my Creator. "If Carlisle trusts them, then that is good enough for me."

"You two," Alistair muttered and I knew we had won him over, "are going to be the death of me."

Carlisle turned around and winked at me and I grinned back. "I have already arranged the coach," Carlisle remarked. "We should get going unless you want to miss it."

Alistair glared at him, looking more than a little annoyed. "You planned this."

"I knew you could be persuaded."

Alistair turned to me, looking exasperated. "How did he persuade you?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Books," I answered. "Books."

"Figures."

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_Volterra 1815_

Imposing. That is the word I would describe the Volturi. They were not even all present. Two of the seats were empty. Only one was occupied and he was starkly pale, translucent. At his side were two petite vampires, so young that at first I thought they were children until I took a better look at them. They were younger than me, not quite children and not quite adults. There were others too, a woman behind him and two men that stood a little further off, but well within reach to protect. There were also several others, I noted, lurking in the background, hidden.

I stood, flanked by Alistair and Carlisle, thinking that if they wanted to exterminate us it would not even be a struggle. I shuddered inside, conceding that Alistair's cowardice had its merit. If we had not been invited, I would have been terrified. I may have never wanted to be a vampire, but I was satisfied with my existence – if not happy.

"Carlisle!" said the one that must be Aro, the one who had invited Carlisle. "How have you been, my friend?"

Aro stood and urged us to come closer. I stood paralyzed as I watched Carlisle calmly walk over to Aro and offer him his hand. I was transfixed as I saw the delighted expression on Aro's face. What in the world was going on?

"Ah," Aro said as he released Carlisle's hand. "And these two must be your dear English friends."

"They are," Carlisle confirmed. "The man is Alistair and the girl is Isabella."

"Isabella," Aro said slowly.

I shivered at the sound of my name on his lips.

"Come," Aro said, looking at me as he said this.

I looked instinctively at Alistair and his lips were pressed into a flat line. He did not like this, but what could he do? If he said no, everyone here would turn against us. He glanced at me and nodded.

I hesitantly moved forward and Carlisle put a reassuring hand on my back, bending close and whispering, "It's okay. Aro simply wants to read your mind. His touch, with it, he can see every memory you've ever had."

I gasped and Aro laughed. "It is my power," he said. "You do know that some of our kind possess such gifts?"

I nodded slowly. I knew that Alistair was talented with tracking, able to feel a person's mind and follow where it led him. I was the only person he could not track. He said he could not get a good grasp of my mind. I was an empty space for him. It was one of the reasons that he insisted that I always tell him where I was going and when I would be back. Once when I had forgotten and gone off on my own for too long, I had returned to find him enraged, worried, and frightened. I never made that mistake again.

But for every vampire that had a talent, there were others like me and Carlisle that had no ascertainable gift. We were extraordinary in the ordinary sense. Although I did think that Carlisle had been blessed with compassion and the biggest heart I had ever known. Was that his gift? Not a power that most would want, but special in its own way and I personally thought it was wonderful. It is what made him such a good doctor.

I took a deep breath to still my nerves. My curiosity had brought me this far, to Volterra. I wanted to learn more about my kind, about myself. I could do this.

"Your hand," Aro said.

I held it out and I felt his ice cold touch, his skin was even colder than mine. I wondered if that had to do with age? I glanced at him, at how his skin revealed the veins beneath it pulsing with the blood of the humans he must have feasted on. It was intriguing. Again my mind was drifting and I wondered if I was supposed to feel something when Aro read my mind… was he reading my thoughts right now?

And if he could, as Carlisle said, know every memory I had – would it be impertinent to ask him if he could tell me more about my former life?

"How fascinating!" Aro exclaimed, releasing my hand. "I have never come across a mind I could not read before."

I was stunned, yet I was not as shocked as everyone else in the grand hall. The petite girl next to him glared at me. I tried not to let it bother me, but I won't lie. It unnerved me. There was hate in her eyes.

"Jane," Aro said and the girl immediately came to stand between him and I. "Will you do me the honor?"

I did not understand what was going on as Carlisle jumped in front of me and Alistair grabbed me, shoving me behind him, shielding me. There was turmoil all around as Carlisle hit the ground in pain, his face contorted in agony, and the two men – the guards – quickly leapt into action, driving us away from Aro.

"Stop, Jane," Aro commanded and she growled in frustration before she looked away and Carlisle stopped convulsing in pain in front of me.

I immediately ran to Carlisle, dropping to my knees and cradling his head in my arms. "Are you all right?"

Carlisle nodded barely and I knew he had protected me from whatever power Jane must have had. I could not fathom what it could be, but it had brought Carlisle down to the ground easily. I had never seen a vampire in such pain before. I felt Alistair's reassuring hand on my shoulder as he knelt beside us.

"Carlisle, my friend," Aro said in an apologetic voice. "Please forgive Jane's error. I meant no harm. I simply wanted to satisfy my curiosity. I pray that you understand, of course. It is in the vein of knowledge that I seek my answer. I merely wanted to know if it was only my power that Isabella blocks or if she can block Jane's as well."

Alistair stood up, putting himself between Aro and the rest of the Volturi _and _us. It was the first time I had ever seen Alistair put himself in a dangerous position when he could have just remained behind us, in the slightly safer position. Maybe Carlisle was right. Maybe Alistair would rescue me to his detriment.

"I do not care for any experiment you wish to conduct on Isabella," Alistair said sharply. "We are leaving. Can you walk, Carlisle? Or do you need my assistance?"

Carlisle shook his head and took Alistair's offering hand of aid to pull himself upright. I was dragged up by Alistair's other free hand and I found myself being flanked once more by both of them. I felt safer, but not safe enough, not when the Volturi easily outnumbered us.

"There is no need to depart," Aro remarked, a menacing edge underlining his otherwise friendly tone. "We have started off on the wrong foot. I offer my sincere apologies. You all are our guests here, and we are most gracious for your presence."

"Hosts do not harm their guests," Carlisle stated firmly. "That is code of honor."

"Indeed," Aro agreed, "I should have called Eleazar forward, but Jane was right here and I honestly did not think that anything would happen to Isabella. I would never seek to hurt anyone close to you, Carlisle. You are my dear friend and your friends are mine as well."

"Jane's gift is extraordinary," Carlisle said carefully. "Even if you do not think it would do Isabella harm, I would rather not test that theory."

"You would not be opposed to Eleazar examining Bella, would you?" Aro inquired.

I could feel the tension in the air and physically I felt Alistair's grip on my hand tighten. I looked and I saw his anxiety swirling in his eyes and I glanced at Carlisle and saw his trepidation. I shook myself free from Alistair and stepped forward. I did not want to place them into unnecessary danger and I had the intuition that Aro was not someone to cross and to displease him would be singularly unpleasant.

"I am not opposed," I said, knowing that it could hardly be any worse than what Jane had done to Carlisle. I was brave, I told myself, I could withstand a little pain as long as it kept them – my family – safe.

"Eleazar," Aro called and a black-haired man flashed forward from the background to stand in front of me.

I was unnerved by the way he looked at me. I instinctively shied away, looking down at the ground, avoiding meeting his perceptive eyes. I waited to _feel_ something, but I felt nothing. I finally looked up and I saw him flashing back and forth, surrounding and encircling me.

"She is like Renata," Eleazar declared. "She is a shield."

Aro nodded. "I thought as much. Interesting, very interesting. I did not know you collected rarities, Carlisle."

"I had no idea," Carlisle admitted. "I was unaware she was talented."

"Then it is your luck," Aro proclaimed, smiling broadly. "And think of how blessed you are, Isabella." I felt like I was trapped when he fixated his gaze on me. "You are here in Volterra amongst the Volturi, already discovering you have a gift and now able to fully research it. I hope you will learn even more about your special abilities during your stay here and I hope that _you all_ enjoy your stay."

"Thank you," Carlisle responded, elbowing Alistair until he said it grudgingly.

"Thank you," I echoed.

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** This is undoubtedly my favorite chapter that I've written about Bella's past thus far. I knew I was going to get here, but it took a little longer than I thought and yet at the same time it arrived faster than I thought. Anyway, I'm happy it turned out this well and it was rather easy for me to write with all your support!

Thank you for reviewing! I hope you will keep supporting and encouraging me! I really do appreciate it and it really does help the muse along! Please keep reviewing if you'd like to see updates this fast! ^_^!

**Released: **3/28/2009


	10. Gross Anatomy

**Note:** Thanks for the reviews and keep it up!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**9. Gross Anatomy**

_Seattle 2008_

_Edward POV_

"It must be fate," Bella remarked casually as she stared at the postings outside the lecture hall as I stared at her. We had just gotten out of lecture and I was thinking about how to ask her to lunch, not that we would actually eat – just go somewhere and talk.

It took a moment for her words to hit me, but when they did I lifted up an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You and me," she said as if that explained everything.

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully, unable to squelch the rising hope inside.

Had I really only known her for three days? It felt like a lifetime, though we had yet to spend any time outside of school together. We had yet to hold a substantial conservation, but I thought we understood each other better than those who had spent years together. We fit perfectly.

I was absolutely insane. I was overly optimistic and out of control. I was being ridiculous and I knew it was highly likely that this feeling inside was more than mere infatuation. I still held some pessimism, though. I had Alice's words to encourage me, but I had my own dark misgivings. I still knew nothing about her life, not really.

There were three things I was certain about – that she was a vampire, that she forsook the blood of humans, and that she had a passion to be a doctor. That was all. That was not much.

On sleepless nights, I might have painted glorious pictures in my head of our future and during tedious days, the hours not spent with her, I condemned the relationship as hopeless. What did I know about nurturing such a delicate flower? This was the very first time I had ever felt this way. I was scared I would mess this up.

"Look," she said, pointing to the sheet. "It's our lab assignments."

I stared at the list, mesmerized by the fact our names were next to each other, _Isabella Swan, Edward Cullen…_

"Isabella?" I asked. "I didn't know that was your name."

She shrugged. "I go by Bella."

"It suits you."

She smiled and it lit up her face. "So," she said, holding out her hand, "partners?"

"Partners," I agreed as I took her hand in mine, relishing the feel of her touch.

I was disappointed when she withdrew her hand and primly held them behind her back.

"Our first lab starts this afternoon at one," she said, probably having read an email about it earlier since I saw nothing else on the postings other than the assignments.

"There are six names in our tank," I remarked. "What does 6A mean? Or 6B?"

"There are six people per tank, three dissect each day," she explained. "We go first with another girl, Angela Weber, because we're 6A."

"So we don't dissect every day?"

Bella shook her head. "No, lab is on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If we go today, Wednesday, then we don't dissect on Friday. We do, however, have to come in and teach the rest of our tank what we dissected on Wednesday."

"That sounds pretty decent."

"It is," she agreed. "I wonder what it'll be like, though, dissecting."

"It's not bad," I said.

I knew from past experience that dissecting cadavers was awkward at first, but eventually you got over the fact that you were cutting up a human. After all, every single cadaver had knowingly donated their body for medical education and how could we desecrate a body that had been willing?

"Have you dissected before?" she asked.

"Some," I answered carefully, realizing that I had not told her that much about my past life either.

She had no idea that I had gone to medical school before and I wonder what she would think about that. She was definitely not a newborn vampire, not when she was that self-contained and in such control. And yet, it was strange how me and my family lived – setting down roots and allowing ourselves to grow to a certain degree until it was no longer plausible.

"I will have to rely on your guidance then," she said.

I smiled. "I will be happy to assist."

Bella looked down at her watch and it reminded me of what I had wanted to ask her when I had followed her out of the lecture hall. It was noon and lunchtime. I wanted to ask her if she would join me for lunch, considering we did have to stay around for anatomy lab and all. It would be nice having time to spend with her that wasn't class time. I had wanted to ask her to go somewhere yesterday, but she had run off before I even got the chance.

"Are you busy right now?" I asked abruptly.

She shook her head. "No, not at all. Why?"

"Do you want—"

Her cell phone rang and I was startled when I recognized the tune, Clair de Lune. I had never met anyone else that listened to Debussy before. She smiled apologetically and I watched as she took out a sleek silver phone.

"You're not bothering me," she said.

I leaned in a little, not able to help myself, hoping that I could hear whatever snippets I could have the conservation, but whoever was talking was speaking in a soft voice that I couldn't make out the words. It didn't help that she probably set the volume to the lowest possible setting since vampires didn't need any sound amplification.

"How was the trip?" she asked. "You deserve every happiness."

I would kill to know what the other person was saying.

"What? Of course I'll meet up with you. When do you have the time?" I didn't like how wide her eyes got with what I read as excitement and happiness. "What are you doing in Seattle? Oh? I had no idea."

Bella looked down at her watch again. "I have an hour before I have to be back for lab. Yes, it's anatomy and yes, I'm excited."

I watched the flight of emotions on her face – all positive – I noted sourly.

"I'll meet you downstairs, do you know how to get here?" she asked. "What? You're already here?" She sounded half-amused and half-resigned. "You know me too well. And yes, I'm coming."

She slipped the phone back into her tote. "I'm sorry," she said. "I've got to run, but I'll see you in lab. You can tell me what you were going to say there, all right?"

"Sure," I said. "I'll see you then."

What choice did I have? She was already hurrying to the stairs and away from me. I hoped and I prayed that the person she was running to was not her lover. I sighed when she was out of sight, but never out of mind.

I lied down on one of the couches that were outside of the lecture hall and preceded to stare up at the ceiling. I was pathetic. I didn't know what to do with myself when my carefully laid plans were thwarted. What did I have to do to pass the time? It was a mere hour and it felt like it was going to be forever.

Just then my cell phone started ringing that annoying ringer. I was tempted to not answer, but I might as well since what else did I have to do except stare up at the ceiling? It was better than nothing.

"Edward," Alice said. "You're being gloomy again."

"You start with hello first," I reminded her to no avail, Alice always cut to the chase.

"Why aren't you with her?" she asked. "You abruptly came into my vision when I thought you were going to be with her all day like you had planned out thoroughly yesterday."

"That was the intention," I responded wryly, "but I keep getting interrupted."

"I see," Alice said. "Well, you'll eventually be successful."

"I hope it's sooner rather than later," I muttered.

Alice laughed. "Patience is a virtue."

"Which you have none of," I retorted.

"Oh I have plenty of patience," she responded, "but only when it suits me best."

"Of course."

"Do you want to know why I really called?" Alice asked.

"Please enlighten me," I said in an overly exaggerated voice.

"Esme and Carlisle are back from their honeymoon and Esme wants to talk to you, but I told her not to bother you. Aren't I nice? I prevented someone else from interrupting your time with Bella. Are you going to say thank you now?"

I snorted. "As if."

"Esme is _really_ _really _curious about Bella!"

"Alice!" I exclaimed.

I quickly lowered my voice when I saw a couple of fellow first years glance my way. They were already pouring through the Grant's Dissector, as if their lives depended on it. I was not cut out to be a doctor, I thought. I wasn't passionate enough about it. The material was interesting enough, but there were other things that I was more inclined to study.

I was glad enough I was here, though, if only for the chance to meet Isabella Swan.

"Come on," Alice murmured, "Esme's really happy that you've met someone. Can't you humor her?"

She said this in a low enough voice that if Esme was nearby, her keen ears wouldn't be able to pick the words up.

"I wish you had let me told her myself," I said.

"I wanted to, but I was a little too excited last night when they returned and it kind of gave everything away." Alice sounded apologetic and that was about as much of an apology as I was likely to get.

"Put her on," I said.

I heard the cell phone exchange hands and I waited until I heard Esme's warm, sweet voice say, "My sweet boy."

Esme might not be that many years older than me, but she was so much more mature and so motherly. While she would never replace my own mother in my heart, she was definitely my second mother and just as dear to me. I loved her fiercely, as much as I loved Carlisle and I knew I was a bit more special in her heart because I was her _very first_ child and because I was the only one unattached.

"Esme," I said.

"How have you been?" she asked. "How is the first week of medical school going? Are you enjoying it?"

"It's good."

"I heard from Alice…" she began hesitantly, knowing with her mother's intuition that I probably wouldn't like her mentioning it.

"I met someone," I said in a rush. "Her name is Bella and she's a vampire. She's in my medical school class, if you can believe it and she's like us. She doesn't feed on humans." I paused. "I really like her."

I could feel Esme's smile in her voice when she said, "I'm so happy for you."

"It's only been three days."

"Sometimes it doesn't take long at all. It didn't take long for me," she murmured tenderly. "I fell for him quickly, it was like I tumbled from the sky into his arms."

Literally, I thought, literally.

"When you're ready, I would dearly like to meet her."

"I want her to meet you," I said sincerely.

"Thank you," Esme said as if I had given her a great gift.

"Thank _you_," I said.

We talked after that of the trip, of more comfortable topics that didn't delve so deeply into my emotions. I missed talking to Esme like this. I supposed I had been rather removed from her recently. I had been brooding for so long, not really about being alone although that was likely the underlying reason, but I had kept to myself. I didn't want my loneliness to impede on my family's happiness. It's one of the reasons I decided to move out again. I didn't want to drag them down with me.

"Alice wants to say goodbye," Esme remarked. "And she says that your lab is going to be starting soon. I didn't realize we've been talking on the phone for so long."

I didn't realize it either.

"I miss you," I said.

"I miss you too," Esme said. "I love you, Edward. Come back home soon?"

"I love you too. I promise I'll come back son."

She handed the phone back to Alice. "You were wonderful," she said. "Esme's glowing."

"I don't like the implication I'm a terrible son most of the times," I grumbled.

"No, you're just absent."

"Alice…"

"Listen to me," she said and when she spoke like that – everyone and I mean everyone in the family paid attention and I was no different. "Remember how I told you to follow your heart?"

"Yes." Was she going to recant now? I didn't want her too, not when I had already decided that I was going to put my heart on the line, not that I really had a choice when I was helplessly being pulled toward Bella.

"I'm scared," Alice began, "because I can't see a clear future, not really, not when she's a shield. I don't like not knowing what's going on, but I trust you know yourself better than anyone else and if you think she is the one, nothing I see will tell you anything more than what you already know yourself."

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, her tone suddenly shifting. "You better get down to lab if you don't want to be late."

I looked at my watch and I cursed. It was already one o'clock and if I didn't hurry down I was going to be late.

"I'll talk to you later," I said.

"I'll hold you to that."

I shoved my phone into my pocket and ran down the stairs to the gross lab as fast as I dared to as a vampire roaming amongst humans. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught Bella rushing toward the lab from another direction and she smiled when she saw me.

"I thought I was the only one who was going to be late," she said.

"You're not the only one," I murmured.

"Obviously," she responded.

"Obviously," I echoed.

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** I hope you enjoy another chapter from Edward's perspective. He's so tortured, vacillating between being super optimistic and being gloomy, but why else? Unlike Edward in _Twilight_, this Edward doesn't have the comfort of Bella's sleeptalking to reassure him and make him confident that she does indeed think about it all the time. When you think about that, of course Edward would be a little awkward, a little lacking in confidence… and _she's a vampire!_

As for this chapter, I describe anatomy lab the way I have experienced it with a little fictional overlay, just so it doesn't resemble my med school _too_ much. I have no idea what it's like at U of W, but nothing I'm describing is unrealistic – pretty much how my gross lab was. I hope you enjoy reading about the med school experience and I hope it doesn't bore you!

Anyway, keep the reviews coming. This update was super fast because of all the support. I have 115 story alerts now and the last chapter was the most reviewed at 19 reviews! But I know you guys can do better! Keep it up and I'll try to write as fast as I can (exams and finals are approaching though in two weeks!).

**Released: **3/30/2009


	11. Secrets

**Note:** 19 reviews last chapter, and 20 more people added me on their story alerts (total 140 story alerts). If even half of you guys would review, that would be super awesome!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**10. Secrets**

_Volterra 1816_

_Bella POV_

"And one hundred," Alistair said and smiled at me from the mirror before setting the ornate sterling silver brush on the table. "You have beautiful hair," he commented, running his hand gently through my silky hair.

This was such an intimate act, him brushing my hair in my bedroom, but for the fact that Carlisle was also in my room, sitting on my bed and watching the two of us with a fond smile on his face. We were a family and we spent time together. What was wrong with that?

"He is right, you know," Carlisle murmured. "You do have lovely hair."

I flushed at the compliment and stared at myself in the mirror. Vague memories of what I had looked like before flashed through my head. I had not been much to look at then, not anything like what I had become. I was _pretty_, being a vampire had changed my sickly pallor into one of pale beauty and it suited me. My dark hair, which had clashed horribly with my former sallow complexion now provided the perfect contrast.

"We have been here almost a year," Alistair remarked.

I recognized the restlessness in his voice. Alistair was a wanderer, he needed to roam and I had only ever seen him satisfied being anywhere for a long time at his estate in England and even then – he didn't stay for more than a year, unless he had to as he had for me when I was first created. We had certainly been in Volterra for quite a while. I didn't remember staying this long at any place for a very long time.

"Are you thinking of leaving?" Carlisle asked casually.

"We have been here for a while."

"Leaving will not be easy," he replied.

"No," Alistair agreed.

They both looked at me, I could see their eyes on me from the mirror that reflected their worried expressions. I did not undertand. Why were they concerned? The road from Florence to Volterra had not been any more difficult than any other. I did not enjoy traveling by coach, but it had not been as bad as some roads that Alistair and I had been forced to take in our travels.

"I do not like this," Alistair stated.

Instead of responding, Carlisle shifted his attention to me. "Do you like it here, Isabella?" he asked. "Do you like living in Volterra?"

"It is pleasant," I answered carefully, watching Alistair out of the corner of my eye for I knew that he did not like it here.

It was too restrictive for him and while the diet suited him well enough, he was uncomfortable with so many powerful vampires around him. He did not feel safe here and truly I did not think he ever would.

I, on the otherhand, I found it refreshing to stay and to get to know other vampires aside from Alistair and Carlisle. They would always be the most important to me, but the others here interested me and I would not mind getting to know some of them better. And the books, _the books_, they were marvelous. They had everything I could think to read here and I could not devour enough of them even with my vampire alacrity.

I wished Alistair was more comfortable here. I would not mind staying here for a little while longer. I did not think Carlisle would mind either. There was enough for us to learn and to discover within these books to last for many years. Unfortunately, Alistair did not find much excitement within texts. His sense of adventure was to roam around, to explore the world. It was not such a bad thing. If not for him, I would never have ventured outside of the city of my birth.

"You did not answer the question," Carlisle said. "Do you like it here?"

My eyes flickered to Alistair, knowing that if I answered honestly he would be displeased. I did not want him to feel that way. It was not like I was choosing this place over him. It was just nice to be able to stay somewhere and not worry about hiding myself from humans.

I could be a vampire freely, without thinking of not being who I was.

"Do you like it?" Alistair asked tersely.

I bit my lip and stared at him from the mirror. His face was tense and I wavered.

"Do you?" he asked again.

I nodded slowly. "I like it here."

"I thought as much," Alistair murmured.

"But you do not," I said softly.

"I do not," he admitted.

"I will go with you," I said. "Anywhere you go, I will follow."

Alistair looked at me intently, his eyes holding an emotion I could not identify quick enough as he abruptly averted his gaze. "You do not have to," he said.

"I want—"

"You can stay here with Carlisle," he said. "I will journey south of here, perhaps go to Sicily for a bit and then I will return. It will give you some more time here, a couple of more months and when I come back, then we will leave here together. How does that sound?"

I was stunned. He had never left me, not for a day, not for a week, not for _months_. I stared at him petrified, terrified. He was the only constant in my life and he was leaving? I trembled with uncertainty.

"I will return," he promised.

"You better," I said.

Alistair turned around and looked at Carlisle. "Take good care of her."

"Of course," Carlisle responded. "You know I will."

"Thank you."

Carlisle nodded, standing up and walking to the door. "Come find me in the library before you leave," he said before he left the two of us alone.

The door closed with a heavy thud and Alistair and I gazed at each other from the mirror. The situation was tense, too tense. I was uncomfortable and it suddenly flashed through my head the thoughts I have occasionally had of us. It was strange how we traveled together not as mates. Is that what I was to him? A love interest?

It had been years and he had done nothing to indicate that he saw me as anything more than a fellow companion. He would have done something, would he not if he were interested in me in that way? Alistair was not a very patient person.

I looked at him, wondering of my own feelings. Could I see him as my mate? He was Creator. He was _Alistair_. He was the closest person to me and I did love him dearly, but I was not in love with him. I would know, would I not? I have read scores of books, searching for the answer of what was love and from what I had gleaned – my feelings for Alistair were difficult to place but it was clear enough to define as not romantically inclined.

It was odd, what we had. What were we?

The real question, though, was why had he changed me?

He flicked his fingers near my ear and a pence appeared. Alistair held it out to me and I opened my hand. He dropped the pence and asked, "Will you tell me what you are thinking?"

I swallowed hard. This was embarassing, but I had wondered for so long. I had told myself at first I had not wanted to know. I did not want to know if it meant anything to him. I was afraid of his answer. Now – I needed to know.

"Why did you change me?" I asked and turned around to face him. "Why?"

He lifted up his hand and brushed his fingers against my cheek. "I was wondering when you would ask me."

"Carlisle told me he had asked you and you would not answer him," I responded. "I did not think you would tell me if I asked if you would not tell him."

"You were wrong there."

I stared into his dark eyes, trying to read the emotion in their depths. "Why then?"

"You reminded me of someone."

"Who?"

Alistair brushed back some hair that was next to my face. "You do not look all that much like her, but your eyes are very much alike. You both have warm and innocent eyes. She was so naïve like you were. You still are in many ways."

He sighed, looking away. "I never should have changed you. If only your scent had not drawn me to you, if only you had not been my singer, if only… but your eyes… If it were not for your eyes, I do not think I would have had the willpower to draw back, to stop from draining you dry. You have her eyes."

"Who?" I asked again. "Whose eyes?"

He gazed back at me. "My sister's."

"Your sister's?"

"Yes," he said before dropping his gaze down to the ground. "She was young when she died, a little younger than you actually. She was my favorite person. I loved her more than anyone else. I was devastated when she died and… so alone."

"Is that—" I began hesitantly before I stopped, unsure if I should ask if that was why he liked wandering, if that was why he never liked staying in one place.

"Go on," he said.

I moistened my chapped lips. "Is that why you wander, because you feel alone?"

He shook his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Would you like to know the reason?"

I nodded shyly. "If you do not mind…"

"My sister wanted to travel all around the world."

"And she did not get the chance," I murmured.

Alistair nodded.

"And I remind you of her."

"Yes," he admitted.

"And you are showing me the world."

"Exactly."

I was stunned. He traveled because of me, because I reminded him of his sister and now I was going to stay in Volterra while he traveled alone by himself. I was horrible. I could not let him do that, not without me, not when I could go with him.

"When you leave," I declared, "I'm going with you."

"Isabella?"

I met his gaze.

"You should stay."

"But—"

"You will stay here until I return," he stated firmly, "and when I do, I will show you even more of the world." A faraway look appeared in his eyes. "We will go east, to Asia." He smiled, it was lopsided and more carefree than I had ever seen it. "I have never been there," he remarked. "It will be an adventure for both of us."

"Alistair?"

"Yes?"

I wanted to ask him if I was merely a substitute for his sister, if that was all I was to him, but what if the answer was something I did not want to hear? I was scared that he would deny that I was a replacement for his sister and yet see the lie in his eyes. Alistair was terrible at falsehoods. I did not lie well and I was better than him. He was far too transparent.

"Be careful," I said. "Don't do anything reckless."

He chuckled. "You should follow your own advice."

_It didn't matter the reason, not really, what mattered was I knew he cared for me one way or another. _

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** This was another necessary chapter and I hope you understand Alistair a little better now. It's a bit easy to form his character when there is much left to the imagination. I hope my characterizations as a whole have pleased you. The next few chapters should be interesting.

Thank you for reviewing and keep up the great feedback, I really do appreciate it.

**Released: **4/4/2009


	12. Partners

Note: Sorry for the long wait. Please enjoy this very med school-like chapter!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**11. Partners**

_Seattle 2008_

_Edward POV_

Formaldehyde – the overwhelming stench hit my nose and made my stomach remember the hollow sensation of nausea even though it was impossible for a vampire to vomit. I grimaced and glanced at Bella, who was also wrinkling her nose in distaste. It was cute on her, the wrinkle. I wanted to see more expressions like that from her, I wanted to see her when she laughed, when she smiled, even when she cried just so I could hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"Please say its worse for us because…" her voice trailed off before she could finished what she was saying.

I guessed she realized that we weren't alone anymore and even if we did talk softly the humans could still hear us if we weren't careful. I smiled at her, hopefully in a warm and charming manner, but I didn't really know what that smile would look like. I had never tried to charm anyone before and I wished I had, if only for the experience. I didn't like this feeling of not knowing what to do, doubly so since I couldn't hear her thoughts and know exactly what was coming. All I could do was rely on my intuition.

"It's probably worse," I agreed not to agree, but because it was true we did have heightened senses and in this particularly case it wasn't a positive thing. I would rather not be able to smell anything, if I could forgo the smell of formaldehyde preserved cadavers. "What tank are we again?"

"6," Bella said.

I looked down the rows of tanks and finally saw 6 in the far left corner where there I saw two boys and two girls gathered. Those must be the rest of our tankmates and grimaced when I heard the shallow thoughts of one of the girls. She was hoping _one of the boys_ _would be hot so she could hit on him_. So far that girl was disappointed and I really hoped that I would not be to her liking.

I was not overly conceited, at least I didn't think so, and I dreaded the probability that she would find me attractive. As long as she wasn't in 6A, as long as she wasn't… I tried to think of the name of the other girl that was grouped with us… as long as she wasn't Angela Weber! Then I would be okay. I quickly sifted through the other minds, satisfied that they were decent enough. The other girl had extremely kind thoughts and if she turned out to be part of our dissecting team, it would be a blessing.

"It must be something," Bella whispered, "to know so much about everyone."

She must have noticed my distraction. She could read me very well, especially for someone who had just met me. It had to mean something, didn't it? I felt lost on the other hand because I wasn't used to having to read anyone. I just knew everything about them in the moment they were in. It was boring, but what I wouldn't give to hear _her thoughts_ for just one second.

"Anything you would like to divulge?" she asked softly, her eyes bright with curiosity and a little mischief.

I shook my head just before we arrived at our tank. I purposely tried not to hear their thoughts, concentrating on my own and on Bella's. It was easier, having her nearby, a mind I could not penetrate where I could focus my attentions. I could hear nothing except peace and quiet. It was a nice change.

"I'm Jessica!" the dark blond girl, the one with the shallow thoughts, introduced herself with an overly bright smile.

I could feel her eyes assessing me and I didn't have to hear her thoughts to know what she was thinking. I definitely met her qualifications as a hot guy. If only I could meet Bella's qualifications, then I would be content.

"Angela," the girl with brown hair and glasses said softly and kindly. "And this is Ben," she continued, gesturing at the shorter, Asian boy next to her.

Ben lifted his hand to greet us, but otherwise kept quiet.

The other boy, the only one who hadn't introduced himself yet, was nerdy looking with glasses and not much taller than Ben either. He waved at us and I noticed him staring at Bella in wonder, which irritated me far more than I would like to admit. Did he not see us walking together? She was mine.

"I'm Eric. And you?" he asked Bella.

"Bella," she answered in her musical voice, which no mere human ear could appreciate, but I could and her voice was beautiful even more a vampire. "Nice to meet you all. And this is Edward," she introduced me, much to my surprise _and_ delight.

It was like she was marking me as hers, at least that's the way I wanted to think about it.

"You're both in group A," Jessica said with the barest trace of disappointment and bitterness. Her outward demeanor looked friendly, but I could feel the animosity in her mind when she looked at Bella. I didn't need to take a peek into her mind to confirm it.

"I'm in group A too," Angela said, looking at us with her bright and friendly eyes. "I guess we're going first." She glanced down at the silver metal tank. "Have any of you ever seen a cadaver?"

Everyone shook their head except me. I nodded and they all turned their attention to me. I shrugged. "I've had anatomy lab before." I didn't say when or why. I just left it at that.

I didn't need to turn to Bella to know she was looking at me. It was like my body was attuned to her every movement. I glanced over at her briefly and saw a question in her eyes. She probably wanted to ask me when I had taken anatomy lab before… why I hadn't told her before.

"Lucky," Ben remarked with a gentle smile aimed at Angela, "you guys have someone experienced."

Angela opened her mouth to say something when on the overhead speakers, the Lab Professor began to speak, "I am Professor Chang and I will be assisting you along with Professors Jensen and Hardwick. Each group of 4 tanks is assigned one pedagogue and for every 8 tanks, there will be one professor. Please listen carefully as your pedagogue instructs you how to lift your cadavers out of their tanks. You definitely don't want an accident to occur. You won't smell very good afterwards."

I grimaced at the thought of formaldehyde staining my clothes. I wasn't an OCD neat freak, but I did like to remain clean. I already knew how to raise a cadaver from the tank, although when I looked down to study the mechanism. I didn't quite see how they were going to lock the arms that we would use to lift the cadaver out of the tank.

"Hi, I'm Mike and I'll be your pedagogue," the guy said. He was the All-American type and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes when I saw Jessica fasten her eyes on the pedagogue.

I clenched my fist when I realized that Mike's eyes were focusing on Bella. I wanted to put my arm around her and claim her as mine, which would be overly possessive and barbaric. I barely managed to keep my arm off of Bella. At least, checking quickly with a sideways glance, she didn't seem as intrigued by our pedagogue as Jessica was.

"It's pretty easy to get your cadaver out," Mike remarked. "You lift the metal doors to open the tank then you push down on these metal arms." He put his hands on the bars. "The key is that you need two people to push down carefully at the same time to prevent the body from sliding or sloshing too much around. It's possible for one person to do it, but the body will slid down to the other end and make the other side harder to lift and lock the arm into place. You must remember to lock the arm into place or you're going to get a—"

"FUCK!" one of the guys down a few tanks yelled rather loudly as the cadaver dropped back into the tank and proceeded to splash anyone standing within three feet of the tank. The guy who had cursed was drenched.

"Or that will happen," Mike finished. "Any questions?"

"How do you lock the arms into place?" I asked, not wanting what had just happen to occur to our tank.

"This," Mike said, holding up a silver bolt, "you push the arm down and then stick this into the hole and it'll lock the arm down and prevent it from swinging back and causing the… splash."

"Thanks, Mike," Bella said graciously.

It was hard to hide my frown when Mike grinned at her. "Any more questions?"

"I have one," Jessica said, causing Mike's attention to shift toward her to my relief and her appeasement. I took a quick peek into her mind and then quickly shut the connection. Her thoughts were even uglier and even more unpleasant. I almost felt sorry for Mike until I looked into his mind and caught his horny thoughts about Bella. "What does group B do? I thought group A and B dissect on different days."

"You do," Mike confirmed. "Today is just a quick orientation to get you to meet your fellow tankmates and show you your cadavers and then group B will be dismissed."

"Oh," she said.

"So why don't you guys get your cadaver out?" he suggested. "I need to move on to the other tanks."

Jessica obviously didn't want him to leave, but when she looked away from him and fastened her eyes on me… she didn't seem to be too disappointed. I groaned as her eyes stared at me. I didn't want Jessica to be interested in me. I was only interested in Bella.

"Well," Bella remarked, "why don't we lift our cadaver out of the tank?"

I nodded and quickly went to one side of the tank and Ben positioned himself on the other side. Angela and Bella both opened up the tank, letting us glimpse into our tank of formaldehyde and cadaver. You couldn't see anything yet except the liquid preservative, but we all had universal faces of apprehension.

"Ready?" I said.

Ben nodded.

We both pushed down on the arms at about the same speed, slowly lifting the cadaver out of the tank and to my surprise, Bella was crouched down next to me, pushing the metal bolt into the hole that would lock the arms down. "Thanks," I said and she smiled at me.

That smile was enough to knock the air out of me if I did need oxygen to breathe, luckily I didn't. I smiled back and I swear her eyes got this sparkle in them that made me hope that _we_ were possible. I was being sickeningly romantic and sweet, just like in those movies Alice made me watch when Jasper wasn't around to watch them with her. This was what first love was. This feeling that was sugary good.

"Gross," Jessica said as she stared at our cadaver.

This time it was impossible to stop my eyes from rolling at her behavior. What did she expect a cadaver to look like? All in all, as I studied our cadaver, we had a pretty decent body. It was a man and he was a little pudgy around the middle, but he wasn't that old and he wasn't fat. The last time I had dissected on a cadaver it had been a woman and she had been obese and getting all that fat out of her so that we could actually see the nerves, muscle, and vasculature had been a pain in the ass.

"Should we take off the towel?" Angela asked, gesturing to the towel that was covering the face of the cadaver. "I mean we could wait…" her voice trailed off when she saw the look on Jessica's face.

It would have been rather impolite to laugh at Jessica's nauseated expression, but her thoughts had been as unpleasant to me as the cadaver obviously was to her.

"Now that you have all seen your cadavers," Professor Chang said through the overhead speakers, "and met your tankmates, group B may leave after I finish telling you how gross lab will work. Group A will stay and dissect today the first section of the lab manual and during the next lab session, they will teach what they have dissected to group B. That is how this lab will work. So we expect you to learn the structures that are bolded on the list well so that you will be able to show your tankmates all that you have learned during your dissecting session. Don't hesitate to ask your pedagogue or any of the professors here if you need help locating a structure. Now group B is dismissed and group A, please begin your dissection!"

Jessica quickly left with a short wave of goodbye, Eric following soon after her with Ben lingering behind. "I'll be in the LRC," he said softly, only meaning for Angela to hear, but with my keen vampire enhanced hearing it was all too clear. "Just come find me after."

Angela nodded, her cheeks a little pink. "I will."

Ben didn't kiss her, but he did give her a meaningful look before he left the gross lab. I took a quick peek into his mind and saw that his thoughts were sweet and very gentlemanly toward Angela. I couldn't tell if they were dating yet, but if they weren't they were awfully close to crossing that line. I gazed at Bella with pure longingly and hopefulness as she bent over with Angela to carefully look at what must be our outline for the dissection today.

When would we reach that point of no return?

Would we ever?

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** I'm sorry that it's taken so long to release this chapter. My muse got stuck, but I think I've got her ready to finish this 'fic soon enough. Thank you for all the support and I really hope that you enjoy this chapter even though there isn't quite that much Edward/Bella action as there usually is! Also you can check my profile for updates on how the chapter is progressing. I list the word count I've written of each chapter and these chapters are usually around 2k to 3k long!

Also how many readers would be interested in a Dark!Vampire Edward story (i.e. a brand new story)?

_Please keep reviewing, it is what inspires and goads the muse!_

**Released: **5/30/2009


	13. Escape and Evade

**Note**: Sorry for the long wait. Enjoy this chapter!

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**12. Escape and Evade**

_Volterra 1816_

_Bella POV_

"You have no need to worry about him," Carlisle said, placing both of his hands on my shoulders and drawing me to him – embracing me. "He knows how to keep safe."

"Do you not think it strange that he has not sent any letters?" I said, my voice sounding strangely detached and hollow. I missed Alistair badly, even moreso than Carlisle when I had first been separated for him the Alistair and I had wandered around Europe. "A letter would be a comfort." I paused. "Does he ever write you?"

"No," Carlisle answered. "He only sends word beforehand if he is making his way in my direction."

"Has he sent any word?"

Carlisle shook his head and tightened his arms around me. "Not yet."

I sighed and leaned back into his comforting hold. "I miss him."

"I know."

"I wish he would come back."

"He will," Carlisle murmured, stroking my hair. "He misses you too."

"Then why does he not return?" I asked.

"He has his reasons of that I am certain."

I was not so certain about that myself, but I could not bring myself to contradict Carlisle. It was so much easier just to believe what he said and hoped it was true when I wanted it to be true. I had not prayed since I was turned and yet nightly I prayed for Alistair's safe return, although not to God per say but to the omnipotent being above that must know everything and all about us mere creatures, mortal or otherwise.

_Keep him safe and sound, please…_

_Volterra 1817_

"Isabella," Demetri said as he surprised me from behind.

I turned and smiled when I saw him. He wasn't quite classically good-looking, but there was something interesting about his olive complexion that was fairly atypical for a vampire. There was a chalky pallor that indicated what he truly was, but his skin was still darker than any of the vampires here in Volterra.

Despite the fact he said my mind was elusive because of my shielding ability, he always did manage to locate me if I were somewhere in the vicinity. He said it was because I had a distinctive smell – it was sweet and flowery. When I had asked what flower, he said he did not know, but that everywhere I went there was a trace of that lingering sweetness.

"Did you find him yet?" I asked.

I had asked Demetri because of his superior tracking ability if he could locate Alistair for me. I had done this without telling Carlisle and I felt guilty for keeping this a secret, but I needed to know if my Creator was safe. And Demetri, one of the only members of the Guard I considered a friend. The other was Renata, but she was shy and timid and she told Aro everything.

I did not know if Demetri would keep my secrets from Aro and yet I believed that he would. At the very least, he would not go confessing to Carlisle and that was enough for now. I wanted to find Alistair on my own and Demetri was my only hope.

"He is in Sicily," Demetri said, picking up the silver brush. "And he is on his way back."

I could feel a smile threatening to break across my face. "Are you certain?"

"Your friend, Carlisle, received a message this morning." Demetri began to brush my hair in the intimate manner that Alistair used to and I allowed it because I missed this small comfort. "I do not know what it says, but that it came from Sicily. I believe it was from your Creator."

For a moment my happiness was smashed to the ground by the revelation that Alistair would tell Carlisle he was returning and yet not send me the same message. Was I not important to him anymore? I shook my head, trying to shake away my fears, he saved me because I reminded me of his sister. He would not forsake me.

And yet, what if he remembered while he was away that I was most definitely not his sister?

And that I would never be his sister?

_Colle di Val d'Elsa 1817_

If Demetri had not intercepted the letter from Alistair to Carlisle, I would not have known of the secret meeting between the two of them. Why had Carlisle not told me about this? He knew better than anyone else how much I missed Alistair and yet he was going off to see my Creator without telling me?

I was devastated and distraught, my thoughts muddled. If I did not have Demetri with me, I would not have been able to follow Carlisle all the way to Colle di Val d'Elsa, a small city a short run for a vampire from Volterra. I had never been good at tracking and Carlisle was carefully covering up his trail, sidetracking to hunt a deer before continuing onward.

It was clever as the Volturi knew that Carlisle enjoyed the hunt as long as it was not human and would partake in such activities occasionally rather than having his meals brought to him. I sometimes went with him and it was a thrill to chase your prey and to sink your teeth into their vulnerable neck and drain them dry.

"Hold up," Demetri said, grabbing me by the arm.

I instinctively resisted him until he pointed in the direction of Carlisle and I saw that he was slowing down and I gasped when I saw in the shadows a figure standing, waiting. It had to be Alistair. I was tempted to break cover and to run to him, but Demetri held me back.

"Watch," he said, "and listen."

I hated this, having to spy on my two dearest friends, but they had given me no choice. I crouched down, Demetri flanking me behind, his arms surrounding me. It was not comforting, not the way Carlisle's or Alistair's were when they embraced me. I wondered why, when I did consider Demetri also a friend.

"Thank you for coming," Alistair said in a normal conversational tone, which was loud enough for both Demetri and I to hear him clearly despite the whistling of the wind.

"I don't understand why you could not just return to Volterra," Carlisle spoke. "Isabella dearly misses you, I hope you realize."

"I am sure you realize the feeling is mutual," Alistair replied, much to my sweet relief. I had not been certain he missed me, to hear so was reassuring.

"Then why – "

"Surely you must know the Volturi," Alistair interrupted. "You have been with them before and you have told me how they tried to get you to join in their ranks the last time. I believe the only reason they let you go was merely because you had no talent, no special ability they could exploit."

"Unlike Isabella," Carlisle finished.

"Exactly."

I glanced at Demetri, wanting to know if what they were saying was true and Demetri looked back at me with his grave eyes and slowly he nodded. I wanted to fight the hold he had on me, but I did not. I was certain I could not win against Demetri, not when he was trained by the Volturi.

"What are you suggesting?" Carlisle asked carefully.

"You know precisely what."

"It will be impossible to simply slip away," Carlisle responded and I had to agree.

What was Alistair thinking? The Volturi weren't going to let me leave without a fight. There was no way I could escape secretively away from the rest, not when there were guards posted every night and not to mention the fact they had dozens of powerful vampires at their disposal to find me once I had gotten away. I would be chased and chased until I was caught.

"No one must know you are leaving," Alistair stated calmly. "If you go on a hunting trip and take Isabella with you, and then you never returned… we would have the jump on them by a day at the very least. That is enough time to get far if you have already made plans and I have. There are fast, fleet horses waiting for us in Florence. All we need to do is get there."

"When did you make these plans?" Carlisle asked, sounding stunned. "I hadn't even heard you went to Florence again."

"The less you know the better. It is not for lack of trust," Alistar remarked, "that I must keep you in the shadows. You are not a shield like Isabella. Just grazing Aro accidentally before we can set our plan into motion will cause it to fail before we can even try. All we need now is a date."

I twisted around in Demetri's arms and stared up at his crimson eyes. "Is it true?" I asked softly. "Is what Alistair is planning necessary?"

"You must understand," Demetri said, "you have very strong powers that the Volturi needs."

"No," I responded, "what the Volturi _wants_."

"Regardless," he said, "Aro has already discussed inviting you with Caius and Marcus and they have both agreed. The official invitation was to wait until Alistair's return."

"Why?" I inquired before I realized the answer.

They were going to capture Alistair when he returned, pitting my affections for him against me. They had seen all too easily and all too clearly from the time he had spent away how deeply I cared for him. And they knew that Alistair would not be content to stay in Volturi always by my side. He needed to roam, to be free, and if I did not agree to join the Volturi, he would be locked up in a cage forever. He would be miserable and it would be all my own fault.

Alistair had been right. We should have never gone to Volterra. It was the epitome of danger.

"Let me go," I said, pulling away from Demetri. "Let me go."

"Isabella…"

"Please, Demetri," I begged, "let me go."

I could see the struggle on his face. I had feared for a moment that he was not a true friend, that the Volturi had set him on me to befriend me and to use our closeness against me, but Demetri was truly my friend. He did care for him in his own way, probably no where near how Alistair and Carlisle cared for me, but enough that he did struggle.

It was enough for me to break free from his grasp and before he had the chance to grab my arm and pull me back, I was running toward my two dearest companions. I did not know if they would greet me in happiness or in shock, but I was too overcome with adrenaline to think too much.

Alistair saw me before Carlisle and he opened his arms for me. I flew into them, sighing as his arms wrapped around me. "I missed you," I said against his chest.

"I'm sorry," he said back.

I was so caught in the moment that I barely registered Carlisle shifting his body until he was shielding us from the intruder. I had forgotten about Demetri. He was close enough to us to be a danger, but he was not crouched and ready to fight like Carlisle. Instead he looked almost relaxed, although I could tell from his shoulders he was tense.

I did not envy his position. He knew he could not win this fight, not when it was three against one. He may have been trained by the Volturi, but that did not make him invincible. I was also fairly certain that if Alistair wanted, he could take on Demetri one-on-one. It would be a fair fight. Alistair had some unscrupulous skills to pit against Demetri's honed abilities.

I stared at them, at all three of them, and I just wanted this moment to be erased from history. And yet, it was impossible to go back and change the past. All you could do was live in the present and plan for the future.

"We are not going back," Alistair declared, tightening his hold on me.

"You know it will be impossible for you to escape the Volturi," Demetri stated. "We will find you."

I broke free from Alistair and evaded both him and Carlisle until I was standing within Demetri's grasp. "Please Demetri," I said. "Let us go?"

"Even if I let you go," Demetri murmured, "I am not the only tracker the Volturi employs. There are others, not so talented, but they will be able to eventually track the three of you down. And when they do, they will realize that I should have been able to track you down first."

Everything he said was true and if the other trackers caught wind of us first, Demetri would be punished for allowing us to evade the Volturi. No matter what I did, where I went, someone was going to be hurt. It was only a matter of time.

"Then give us what time you can," I responded. "For me?"

I saw the struggle, the indecision in his eyes before he finally looked away. "Go," he said. "You have as Alistair said, one day's head start, then I will track you as recklessly as I dare."

"Thank you!" I exclaim, rushing forward and hugging him with gratitude.

He embraced me briefly, before pushing me away from him. "You have little time, make use of it," he said, bending down and pressing a kiss against my forehead. "Now go."

Demetri did not look at Carlisle or Alistair when he said, "I would get out of Italy as soon as you are able. The Volturi's reach is tenuous abroad, although still palpable."

"Thank you," Carlisle said and Alistair echoed the same sentiment.

I looked one more time at Demetri and I knew I had misjudged him for being too much like the rest of the Volturi to see that perhaps he still retained the heart of his former human self. After all, hadn't Carlisle taught me that just because our human selves were dead did not mean that our souls were forsaken. We could still care; we could still love; we are alive.

And there is still hope.

I reached and squeezed Demetri's hand in gratitude before I turned and I ran to my Creator and Carlisle. I did not look back, I did not want to see the expression on Demetri's face as I and my companions journeyed forth…

Where we would go, who knows?

**To be continued…**

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**A/N:** It took me a while to get this chapter done, but thanks for the reviews that kept nagging at me to keep going with the story. I'm going to try my hand at an AU-all human story soon, so be on the look out for that. It should be out soon and the chapters will be shorter and updated more frequently. Let me know what you think of this chapter and the progression. Thanks!

Keep reviewing and I will keep writing!

**Released: **6/18/2009


	14. In a Gilded Cage

**Note:** I'm sure this is the long awaited chapter, a present chapter from Bella's POV! This chapter should also explain explicitly the title. *winks*

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**13. In a Gilded Cage**

_Seattle 2008_

_Bella POV_

"So," Edward said after we had said goodbye to Angela, "do you live nearby?"

We were walking from the gross lab, making our way out of the medical school building, both of us smelling strongly of formaldehyde and cadaver, which thankfully I couldn't smell at all anymore as my nose had been overpowered hours ago much to my relief. I glanced sideways at him, marveling at how gorgeous he was. I had met many vampires from my travels, from my many years of existence and he was the epitome of masculine beauty.

I feared I paled in comparison to him.

"Not really," I said, not because I was trying to hide anything, but because it was the truth and yet at the same time, I couldn't let myself allow him to know too much.

It was bad enough that he was also a vampire. If he were a human, he would be insignificant – meaningless. But because he was a vampire, because he was everything that was like me, I could let myself become close to him to both of our detriment. I would confess quite freely that I was drawn to him. There was something about him that made my heart begin to race, caused my soul to sing…!

"Bella?" Edward said, my name sounding so different from his lips.

I turned to look at him, feeling myself being trapped by his intense gaze. I had an inkling that I might not be the only one who was feeling this connection between us, but what if what I was feeling was so much more than what he was feeling? And it was ridiculous anyhow, this strong emotion from knowing someone for scarcely any time at all. It took years to really know someone, decades for a vampire. Even centuries of knowing Alistair and Carlisle, I still learned new things about them all the time.

The few days I had known Edward were only milliseconds in our lifetime.

"I'd really like to get to know you better," he said, smiling, his posture suddenly awkward, which didn't seem like him at all.

I stared at him, thinking how could someone so gorgeous be so adorable at the same time?

"We have four years," I remarked, feeling silly to say the obvious and yet not really knowing what else to say. "All of medical school."

"That's true," he remarked. "What I meant to say is, could we spend some time together… outside of class? Outside of this?"

Edward waved his hand at the space around us, his eyes filled with an emotion that I could not name. I did not understand it. What did his gaze truly mean?

Did I want it to mean what it might mean? I wasn't sure. I did want to get to know Edward more, certainly I felt drawn to him, but at the same time – it wasn't wise, even if it was tempting. I could have someone, like Carlisle had Esme.

What was I even thinking? There was no indication Edward felt that way about me.

"What I am saying," Edward said softly, "is this… would you like to go on a date with me?"

Or maybe, he did.

"Why?" I asked, although _yes_ had also been on the tip of my tongue.

"Because," he murmured, his voice lowering with intent before he smiled and broke the intensity, "just because."

I had been expecting, I don't know, something more than that, and yet, also a little fearful for what he might say. It was as he had chosen exactly the right words so I didn't freeze up on him and withdrawn myself inward to protect myself. His intuition was still working, even though his gift of mind reading was being blocked by my powers as a shield.

And yet, how could I go on a date with him when I was chained?

I retained a measure of free will, but only because I was a willing pawn in their chess game. It was not like I hated my life. Because of my sacrifice, I had kept my family safe… given Carlisle a chance to find his true love and allowed Alistair the opportunity to roam to his heart's content. I was satisfied with my life.

But that didn't mean I would wish my life on anyone else and it wasn't like I was alone or even lonely. I had my family and my friends… I didn't need to draw him into my world just because I was attracted to him.

"How about it?" Edward asked.

I almost forgot what he meant by his question. The date, of course. I was about to answer, about to refuse, when my cell phone rang. I smiled apologetically and dug into my bag for my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm waiting," Demetri said. "Where are you?"

I flushed, realizing I had forgotten about my keeper _and_ my best friend. I bit my bottom lip and wondered what plausible excuse I could give. Demetri might not be a mind reader, but he was astute in sifting through my lies from my truths – the perk of knowing me for nearly two hundred years.

"Lab took longer than I expected," I said, which was entirely true. How was I supposed to know how long it would take? "I'll be there soon."

"Hurry," Demetri said before he hung up.

I stuffed my cell phone back into my bag. "I have to go," I told Edward. "My ride is waiting for me."

I didn't even give him a chance to speak before I ran away from him. It was easier, I thought, escaping. You didn't have to answer questions; you didn't have to explain; you didn't have to make poor excuses for your actions. And besides, even though I knew what I should say, I was sorely tempted to answer in a manner that would be potentially disastrous.

"Bella!" Edward called, grabbing me by my arm.

I instinctively tore myself from his grasp. I whirled around and went into a defensive pose that I had been taught by Alistair.

"I'm sorry," Edward said, holding his hands up in a way that indicated he meant no harm. "I just, I don't want you to go."

_But I had to go!_

"But I know you have to go," Edward continued and sighed. "Will you at least consider it? Going on a date with me?" He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "I really would like to get to know you better because honestly… there's something about you that draws me to you and…"

He ducked his head down with embarrassment and I found it rather cute, although I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that thought.

"I'll think about it," I said because I didn't have the heart to deny what we both wanted for some reason.

"Great!" he exclaimed, the smile that suddenly appeared on his face transforming it. Edward pulled out a pen and scrap of paper, quickly jotting something on it. "Here," he said, "it's my number. Call me."

I took it and held it tightly in my fist. "I'll call," I promised.

"I'll be waiting then."

I stared into his golden eyes, wondering why we were being pulled together, to each other. Was this truly fate? Or was it nothing more than physical attraction? Because he was certainly the most beautiful vampire I had ever seen…

"I have to go," I said.

"Goodbye," he murmured.

"Goodbye," I echoed.

_I-5 2008_

"Are you going to tell me the reason why we're driving to Canada?" I asked.

Demetri glanced at me and shook his head. He had that knowing smirk on his face that I so detested. "No can do," he said. "I'm afraid I have strict orders not to relay anything to you."

"I already reported to both Aro and Caius in Volterra a month ago," I remarked.

"That you did."

I narrowed my eyes, staring hard at Demetri, trying to figure out what was going on. "Is Jane checking up on me?"

No matter how civil I tried to be with Jane, we did not get along. I had given up a century ago of ever becoming friends with her. I did not hate her as much as she seemed to hate me, but I shared negative feelings for her.

Jane had been Aro's favorite, his special one, until I had come along and stolen a bit of her thunder. I didn't even want to be Aro's favorite. I just became one of his favorites. It wasn't like Aro stopped favoring Jane. He just also gave me the special treatment that she received with her twin brother, Alec.

"I cannot tell you," Demetri said. "Stop asking."

I grumbled and Demetri had the gall to chuckle. "Your curiosity," he said, "will be satisfied shortly."

"You would hardly like it if you were in my situation."

"That's true," he said, reaching over to ruffle my hair. "You get my empathy, but I still won't tell you. I have promises to keep."

"Fine, fine," I muttered.

"That's my girl."

_Vancouver 2008_

"So we're in Vancouver," I said for the lack of anything better to say, even though the destination had become quite clear fifty miles ago, after we finally entered the city limits, "care to explain what we're doing here?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

"_Demetri!_"

"And," he said, screeching the car to a stop, "we're here."

I stepped out of the car and I saw a familiar person standing with his back toward me. I would know the breadth of those shoulders anywhere. I took off running, my arms reaching forward, and he turned around at just the perfect moment so I could leap into his welcoming embrace.

"Alistair!" I exclaimed, burying my face into the crook of his neck. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Sometimes a surprise is good, is it not?"

I hit his chest with my fist. "Why didn't you come to Seattle? Why Vancouver?"

"I thought you would like to see this," Alistair remarked, pulling me from his arms, but not letting go of me. "Look."

It was only then I noticed the paradise I was standing in. I have seen the naturalistic gardens of quaint English estates and the pristine majesty of French botanical gardens, but I had never seen such fiery red leaves before. They were breathtaking and worthy of the fall season.

"It's gorgeous."

"They're Japanese maple trees," Alistair said. "You should come back in the spring. They have cherry blossoms here and you'll see the prettiest shade of pink. One day I'll have to take you to Ueno Park and you will thousands of cherry blossoms."

One day was the keyword. It was only with Aro's approval that I was even allowed to study medicine in Seattle and only because Demetri had agreed to accompany me. I turned back and saw Demetri still standing by the car, watching over our reunion. I motioned for him to join us, but he politely shook his head. I saw the brief wink. Demetri understood me as well as Alistair and Carlisle did now.

Because the two of us were always together. He was my constant companion.

I wonder if it was his choice? I had never asked and he had never volunteered the information. I hadn't wanted to know why Alistair had made me, although eventually I had wanted the answer. This time, I was certain I did not want to know.

I would choose to believe that Demetri stayed by me because we were friends.

After all, he had let me escape all those years ago…

Too bad the Volturi had been relentless and we had only managed to evade them for two short years before they caught up to us and Aro finally got what he wanted – for me to become part of the guard. Alistair had wanted to offer his skills as a tracker, but I had begged him not to. I didn't want him to be bound like I was. It would have made him miserable.

And it was not all that bad, I thought, being part of the Volturi. I had the world as my playground as long as Aro gave me the permission. I wanted for nothing. I had friends who understood me and even though they might not understand my unwillingness to feed on human blood, they at least permitted me my eccentricity.

"Isabella," Alistair said and I had no idea how long he had been calling my name, "are you happy?"

He always asked me this question when he saw me, in his letters he sent, on the occasions he called me and I always answered the same, "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

**To be continued…**

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_Please review and maybe I'll update soon! (perhaps even later this week, if I get enough motivation!)_

**A/N:** I realize that it has been a really long time since the last update, but I was busy studying for my USMLE Step 1 (which is a mega important test for medical students) and after that was done, I was getting ready to begin my 3rd year. And honestly, I didn't quite know what to write for this chaper because even though everything I've written has been leading up to this moment, it wasn't exactly easy putting it into words.

I couldn't very well use Bella's POV in the present until I was ready to make the revelation that Bella is part of the Volturi and doesn't exactly possess free will to do what she wants with her life. I also hope you like how I have brought Alistair and Demetri into the present timeline. Carlisle will be joining soon and the main story will be starting now that we have gotten the pieces assembled. Thank you for those who are still reading and I hope this new development only piques your interest even more!

**Released: **9/6/2009


	15. The Difficulties of Reality

Note: This is not a complete chapter.

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**GRAVITATION  
**by Yih

"_Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—"  
- Emily Dickinson_

**14. The Difficulties of Reality**

_Forks 2008_

_Carlisle POV_

I was exceedingly careful over the years never to mention Bella ever to my family, and of course, it helped that Bella's mind was so isolated within her head that it was impossible for my thoughts to give her away. I don't know how she did it, how she kept herself so hidden from view, but she was the most talented shield I had ever come across. There was nothing she couldn't do, if she put her mind into it.

It was hard, though, not to be able to talk about Bella and Alistair – as I still considered them part of my family. The modern age of constant communication made it possible for me to keep in contact with Bella and even to see her when we happened to be within easy range. Alistair, on the other hand, was hard to get ahold of and when I did hear from him it was via an old-fashioned letter or postcard, when he bothered to write at all.

I wondered when Alistair would head in this direction because I knew he would eventually, especially when Bella would be in this area for at least four years. I still found it hard to believe that Bella had managed to bargain this chance to go to medical school, something she had always wanted to do when she had learned to control her bloodlust.

Of all the vampires I had known, of all those in my family, she was the only one I really saw following in my footsteps. Of course, I had encouraged Edward to study medicine, just in case I needed him as my assistant because I never thought the Volturi would release Bella long enough to follow her dream. I never thought there would ever be a time when she would be allowed to live freely!

The first thing I had asked her when I had seen her again was if she would like to live with me and my family.

"_I would love to," she began, "but as much as I still consider you a part of my family, I am not a part of 'their' family."_

_I sighed and she smiled knowingly at me. "I understand."_

"_Now you don't have to worry about Alistair getting all huffy with you," she said with a sparkle in her eyes. "And I certainly won't mention that you asked me to live with you before he got the chance." _

I smiled at that memory, even though it had saddened my soul when she had first refused me.

**(stalled as of now)

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**A/N:** I thought I would release what little I had written, just for those that have been patiently waiting for an update. I don't believe I will continue this anymore.

**Released: **5/2/2010


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